The Twin | Kim Gyuvin ZB1

19 Without You

"Unnie," Seyeon interrupted Siwon, who was typing away on her laptop during study time in the library. "I haven't seen Gyuvin Oppa in such a long time. I miss him."

"He's busy preparing for the big exam, Seyeon-ah. He won't be coming for a while."

"CSAT isn't until November, though. Does it mean I'll have to wait another 6 months till he visits again?"

Siwon could only respond with a wry smile.

Life didn't change much for Siwon other than that she had a lot more free time to spend, but she did not stop helping out at the bookshop or the orphanage. If Gyuvin ever wanted to look for her, she'd be right where she was. Yet if he wanted nothing to do with her, the last thing she could do for him was stay out of his life.

The only good thing that came out of this was that Siwon was more inspired than ever to finish her book. Writing had always been her outlet of emotions. All her free time was put into crafting short stories drawn from her own experience, which she published online. Those countless hours behind the laptop in the bookshop and the orphanage, staying up at night to allow her creative cosmos to bloom and sleeping during school time instead. What was originally intended as a form of venting garnered a great deal of attention over time. Siwon eventually told Seulbi about it and showed her what she had written. Seeing Siwon's talent and potential, Seulbi connected her with a book publisher like a proud sister.

Siwon's book series mainly consisted of fiction stories, with the protagonist growing from their pain and trauma since that was what she felt the most strongly about. She had published two novels so far, both of which had happy endings. To Siwon, books should provide an escape for readers rather than serve as another reminder of the ruthlessness of reality. She knew better than anyone that not every story in real life has a happily ever after.

She was working on her third novel when Gyuvin stumbled into her life. Romance had barely ever presented itself as a main theme in her stories. She always thought that the 'unloved kid finding true love' was a bit of a lame cliché plot line. However, as she continued to write, she found her book deflecting from the original plot and turning into a romance novel.

That day, on her way to the bookstore, Siwon stopped by the alley to feed the stray cats like she always did. The cats always reminded her of how everything started with Gyuvin, and she had so many fond memories of them feeding the cats together.

"Did he come to visit you? Wouldn't he be too brutal if he stopped coming to you guys as well?" Siwon mocked herself for ranting to the cats but continued nonetheless. "The kids kept asking where he was. How could I tell them that he probably wouldn't come to play with them anymore because of me?"

"I miss him, but he doesn't even appear in my dreams. He has completely vanished from my life. Yet everywhere I go, I see traces of him." It was crazy for Siwon to imagine how someone, who was once an uninvited intruder, could leave such a huge void in her with his absence.

She continued making her way to the bookstore after her short counselling session with the kitties.

"Sajangnim."

"Hey, Siwonnie. How was the meeting with the publisher?"

"I think they liked it. I'm going back this weekend to sign the contract."

"Heartfelt stories would always touch people's hearts. I'm proud of you, Siwon-ah."

"Sajangnim, are you trying to make me cry now?" Siwon's nose twitched. She had been getting emotional very easily lately, especially because everyone had been taking extra good care of her after she moved out.

Ironically enough, her parents didn't even bother checking on her. They were probably so sure that Siwon would go back to them begging for forgiveness once she realised she couldn't survive without their help. Little did they know, Siwon had access to help from people who actually cared about her. She also had savings from working part-time and from book royalties.

"What's your plan after this book?"

"I'll take a break from writing and try to devote more time to studying. Hopefully, I'll be prepared to take the CSAT next year."

Siwon never forgot how Gyuvin asked her to consider doing CSAT and how excited he was when he pictured them going to university together. Most importantly, he didn't want her to give up her studies for her parents when she was still capable of doing well.

"Siwon-ah," Gyuvin looked her in the eye. "It's not worth giving up your future to defy against your family."

"Promise me you'll at least consider it, please?" He moved to stand in front of her.

Unfortunately, Siwon never had the chance to tell Gyuvin her decision. And now, it wouldn't matter to him anymore.

Once Siwon's new book had finished editing, she left the rest of the publishing work to the publisher and focused on studying. Meanwhile, those taking the exam that year were also in the final stretch.

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Trust me, we're getting there. 2-3 more chapters to go!