Because Of You (Elizabeth Olsen x Fem G!P Reader)

51. Break from Love

I love this song 😭

Y/N POV

I hovered my hand over Lizzie's contact, I finally was able to think about our relationship and the place where we were at and about her, and I made a decision, one I wasn't happy with but I needed it, I was right and the longer this went on the more I would just keep driving myself in circles and I couldn't stand it. Thinking about this has been affecting my every day I couldn't even take care of Jalen anymore, I was so stuck in my head that when I tried to make him breakfast yesterday I almost started a fire because I couldn't concentrate, so he went to Calvin's just so I could get myself right again.. or just somewhat so I could be there for him.

I didn't want to hear what Lizzie had to say I knew I needed it, I couldn't keep doing this to myself, and she couldn't keep pretending everything was alright and it wasn't. I pushed the call button taking a deep breath pulling down the sleeves of my hoodie, and sighed I wasn't even sure I was ready for this.

What if I was really overreacting? What if her phone did die? What if she didn't do anything? What if I was blowing this out of proportion?

"Hey, baby," Lizzie said as she answered the phone and I frowned, why did her calling me something I loved to hear from her now make me feel so.. so dirty? "Are you alright?" She asked me and I sighed shaking my head.

"No, I'm not," I said and she frowned, and I looked her over, she really was the epitome of beauty, and she wasn't even dressed up, she looked like she was getting ready for bed, and she looked so beautiful, god even with my head all fucked she still managed to take over my thoughts and make me think of her, in the best ways when I wasn't five seconds ago.

"What's wrong, honey?" I pressed my lips together, and I looked at her sadly.

"What happened that night in San Diego?" I asked bluntly, I didn't want to beat around the bush, I wanted to know and I wanted the truth.

"I told you what happened." She said and I shook my head, I didn't want the version she gave me I wanted it all.

"No, you told me what you wanted to tell me, and obviously it wasn't all that you had to tell me because you told me more the next day, so I wanna know everything that happened." I wanted to know, I didn't care if it would hurt me anymore I just wanted to know, I was sure it couldn't do any more damage that I had already done to myself.

"Y/N, I told you.."

"Well tell me more." I interrupted, I wanted to know I wasn't making myself crazy, thinking how shady she had been since she came back, I just wanted answers.

She was quiet for a minute staring at something in her room and I stared at her, and finally, she sighed, looking at me. "What do you want to know?"

I knew this was really something that would make or break us, if I accused her of doing something it would be hard to come back from it, but if we loved each other like I think we did, maybe we would work it out.

"Did you cheat on me?" I asked, my voice leveled but I felt like I would throw up any second, and my palms started to sweat.

Her brows furrowed and she looked hurt. "What? I- I would never do that Y/N." I only frowned, still hating the doubt that was creeping in my mind telling me not to believe her, but my heart with everything in me wanted to believe her, believe it, and run to her, I'm so fucking conflicted.

"What happened after you left the karaoke bar?" I asked now.

"I took everyone back to the hotel then we had to go." I didn't believe it, I pressed my lips together, and I asked what time she got back to the hotel. "Around midnight."

"When did you meet 'Jordan'?"

"Do you not trust me? Why are you asking me so many questions?"

"No, I don't!" My eyes widened when the words left my mouth, and so did hers, but it was the truth, I didn't, and what is a relationship without trust? "I just want the truth, Elizabeth." I sighed my voice tired and worn, I was tired of feeling like this and I just wanted to know.

"I'm telling you the truth Y/N. I didn't cheat on you." I just sniffed and nodded, a sad smile on my face, and she looked at me with doe eyes. "You believe me.. don't you?"

"I don't baby," I spoke sadly, I couldn't not after she lied to me, and why would she lie about something so trivial? I didn't get that.

"I promise you, I didn't cheat on you, I didn't talk to anyone that would even count as flirting or anything that was remotely flirty, baby I didn't."

I licked my lips and bit them. "I want to believe you, but I can't," I told her and she sighed, and I gulped. "And I think I need a break from us," I told her and she gasped, I didn't want time away from her but I couldn't pretend I was okay.

"Y/N, I.. we." She stuttered on her words. "What about.. are you.." She looked defeated, and I wanted to do nothing more than comfort her but how could I do that when I needed it myself? "For how long?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just hate how I'm feeling and I can't pretend like I'm okay when I'm not and I just need some time to think."

I saw her gulp but she nodded. "Okay." She said slowly and quietly and I cleared my throat.

"Bye, Elizabeth."

She blinked a few times, and I hated how lost she looked and I wondered if that's how I had been looking the past couple of days, thinking about this.

"Bye Y/N." She said and I hung up, tossing my phone to the side, and I was back in the darkness of our room, I frowned into the darkness and took a gasping breath and my lip started to quiver and my tears started to fall, I knew I needed this but why the fuck did it hurt this much?