Finding You // Cashton

Chapter 13

How do you feel about me starting a Lashton fanfic? I don't know I really want to do one but i'm worried about not being able to keep up with my updates and I don't wanna disappoint you guys... Just let me know so I can start planning.

"Hey are you almost done packing? We have to leave in 5 hours."

"Yeah I guess so.. I mean I just wish I didn't have to take everything. I don't really want to not be able to come to visit and not be in my own home. It just won't be the same anymore after this. This won't be my home anymore..."

So what are my thoughts on this whole moving thing? I'm pretty hyped, no take that back, really hype. Moving seems amazing and all, but there are quite some downsides to this too. Sure, I have my friends coming with me, but there are so many new people there... I wouldn't fit in. I mean you would think that everyone is the same over here as there, but in my opinion, it can't be the same. 

I'm not ready for this drastic change. I'll be going away from my mother, my mother will be going away from here, and my father will be left behind 6 feet below ground while we go out and have fun. Don't you think that is just a bit fucked up? Sure, he'll be "watching over us", but that won't be the same, it never will be honestly. Maybe I just need to learn to accept change in my life, but I don't want to. 

I know i'm making it seem like i'm so happy to be moving, but does anyone ever know your true feelings anymore? I'll just go ahead and take that as a no. I mean i'm not backing out of this, but I just can't shake the feeling. I decide to call the one I used to despise the most, Maddie. Who would've known that it would come to this?

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Calum. Can we talk?"

"Of course, talk."

"Well there's so much stuff running through my head right now. I'm moving to the States, California to be exact. I'm a bit scared to move, my mother is moving out of the house I grew up in, and I don't know anything about the people there. Can you help me?"

"Well there isn't much that's different over here than there is over there. The people that live here come from many different places honestly. I mean look at me, I have been living here since graduation and i'm perfectly fine."

"It's just you know my past. I can't deal with it anymore, i'm trying to avoid it at all costs."

"I mean... Calum. Ashton is quite the famous lad. He constantly has girls up his arse. If you come out as his boyfriend, how do you think they'll react. Nobody really knows about his sexual orientation, so they won't be nice."

"I know. But listen Maddie, once I get to California we need to meet up, we should be leaving in about 3 hours. I'll send you an address and give you a decent time." 

And with that I hung up.

"Babe?" Ashton's angelic voice calls out.

"In here!"

"Alright it's time to go. If we leave any later we'll have to spend more time going through luggage and stuff."

Fast forward to the plane

"Hey Ash?"

"Hm i'm listening."

"How am I gonna survive your fans?" I ask curious.

"Well they aren't usually abusive when the-"

"Not that. If we ever become an official thing. How would I survive all the hate that comes with it? You know about my past. I don't handle that kind of stuff that well."

"Oh... Don't worry, if anything happens I will stand by you. Anyways you should know that it's just jealousy, nothing personal."

I know he says that it's just them being jealous, but that doesn't change the way I feel about it one bit. I mean if it means I can have Ashton, then I will try my best to stay strong. I care about him alot, and for some reason I have a feeling that I shouldn't let him go.

"Buckle your seatbelts everyone, the plane will be landing"

Great, I have arrived. Watch out Cali.

Hi everyone, it's been 13 days since I last updated and i'm so sorry! This really tells me something. That I need to get off my ass and start writing more often!! But, I love you guys, adios.