☆Solarball randoms☆

}{Titania angst}{

Titania is alone.

Her breaths are shallow, ragged, caught somewhere between the void and the crushing weight of her own thoughts. The asteroid belt around her is cold, silent, an empty, endless expanse where the distance between each lonely rock seems to stretch on for eternity. It is suffocating.

She never imagined that running away from Uranus, from their home, would feel like this-empty, hollow, cold.

Her chest tightens. Every small sound-the distant twinkle of stars, the faint hum of the little moons somewhere in the belt-feels like a reminder of how far she has drifted from everything she has ever known. The orbit she once felt a part of, the place where she once belonged.

I'm a failure, she thinks bitterly. The words wrap around her core like chains, and every breath she takes feels like it is being squeezed out of her, as though the weight of the galaxy itself is pushing her down.

I'm just like him. Maybe even worse than him.

The thought comes unbidden, like a sharp knife to her core. Uranus.

Uranus, her planetary figure, the one she looked up to. The one who had always been there, or at least, that's what she thought. Until that moment. Until the moment his own insecurities broke free, when he joked about turning them all into rings. He hadn't meant it, she knows that. He never meant to hurt them. But the joke was more than just words. It was a revelation.

"I have about 27 moons. I can force them to crash into me."

Crash into me... The words spin around her head like an endless whirlwind, gnawing at the edges of her sanity. He had wanted to crush them. All of them. His moons. His small little moons. They had become something he could use to make himself feel bigger, more important. He had tried to shape them into something he could never have.

And she had led them all away. She had watched them scatter, his moons, her family, flying, fleeing, scared. She had told them it was safer to hide.

I was protecting them... right?... but... I was running away too.

The thought hits her like a slap to the face. No... she did the right thing, the moons are safer here, away from Uranus.

Her chest heaves, the pressure of her emotions building until she can't hold them in any longer. She feels something snap inside her-a final, breaking point she had been avoiding for too long.

Tears well in her eyes, and before she can stop them, they spill down her face. She doesn't even try to wipe them away. She lets them fall freely, the bitter salt staining her pale skin as the weight of everything she's been holding inside finally shatters her defenses.

I'm just like him, she thinks again, and this time, the words feel like acid in her mouth. I'm weak. I'm nothing but a frightened little moon, scared of everything, scared of him, scared of myself. Scared of messing up.

She lets out a broken sob, her hands trembling as she places them over her face.

She isn't a leader, not really. She can't even hold it together for the little ones, how could she ever protect them from what's coming? How could she make them feel safe, when she herself is falling apart?

Her body shakes as sobs wrack her chest. What if I turn into him? She can't stop the question from circling her mind, over and over, like an endless loop of fear. What if I end up being just like him? What if I can't stop it?

Her breath hitches. She clutches her knees to her chest, trying to pull herself together, but it's useless. She can feel it all inside her-her doubts, her fears, her insecurities. They are a mirror of Uranus', and it terrifies her.