Operation Mackerel: 10 Ways to Make Dazai Osamu Jealous

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20

Have you ever read a fanfiction when you know the characters are smart, but the plot is too dumb to intentionally make the smart characters do something stupid for the sake of extending the narratives?

Yes. Yes, that's fucking infuriating, right?

That's what Chuuya feels as he enters the cafe later than usual with a slightly heavy feeling. He's still a little hazy after drinking a lot last night, and when he thought the day couldn't get any worse, Shirase welcomed him in the cafe with a bouquet of red roses and chocolates. It instantly drains all his remaining energy, and he just wants to turn around and go home.

Dazai is happily in love with someone else anyway. What's the point of pursuing his divine path to a mythic level of homosexuality, right?

"Good morning—" Shirase is even wearing a damn tuxedo, and he looks a lot fresher today. "—to the sweetest manager of this sweet cafe."

Ah, go fuck yourself.

Chuuya glared at the man, but that glare dispersed when he looked at the bouquet of roses. It's beautiful, and even the almond chocolates are his favorite. Maybe it doesn't sound bad to eat some. Sweets can give endorphins, and since he's in a little bad mood, it can help lighten his emotions.

He didn't deadpan like he originally planned and just sighs before accepting the bouquet and chocolates, "Thanks."

Everyone in the cafe watching the scene gasps in disbelief.

It's still early in the morning, but they can already feel the suffocating atmosphere in the air. It made their coffee taste bitter despite the public display of affection between Arahabaki's manager and Shirase. All the customers feel their bristles stand up as the murderous intent inside the cafe heightened. Instantly, their pale face tilts towards a particular corner, and there their blood drops when they see someone sitting there with his laptop.

That someone, Dazai, is smiling while staring at Chuuya and Shirase.

"Oh hell no, I ain't getting a part of a massacre today."

"Don't worry, they don't care about NPCs."

"But I'm one of them because I'm gay!"

"Do you even have a tragic backstory? No? Then shut up and enjoy your drink because we're about to see some nice shit."

Chuuya instantly feels confused about why his customer looks constipated when he receives the flowers. Do they want the flowers, too? Maybe he can ask Lucy and Higuchi to make a freebie in this cafe if the customer badly wants that. Freebie flowers and chocolates don't seem bad. One more thing—

He met Dazai's calm gaze.

And he instantly felt his chest ache with no homo. Dazai is even smiling at him as if the man is flexing his better love life! It made Chuuya's blood boil, so he just glared at Dazai instead.