Hopelessly Devoted To You

Chapter 36

Australia, August 30, 2024.

I had been in Australia for a few days and getting up was becoming more and more difficult.

The sun was shining through the room, illuminating it slightly.

I turned over in bed trying to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. I laid on my back again, running my hands over my face, letting out a loud sigh.

"Damn it" I said, hitting the bed with both hands.

I heard a soft knock on the bedroom door and it slowly opened.

"Good morning" I heard Elsa say as she poked her head out "It's time to get up and you have to eat something"

"I'm not..." I tried to say, but she looked at me seriously.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence" She said opening the bedroom curtains "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day"

"Yes, mom" I said making her laugh.

I settled into bed and Elsa sat next to me holding my hand.

She didn't say anything, she just looked at me making me break down quickly.

Elsa leaned down to hug me while I cried inconsolably.

"I don't know what to do" I managed to say between sobs "I'm tired"

"What do you mean, honey?" Elsa asked caressing my back.

"I don't know if I can do this alone" I answered burying my face in her neck "I don't think I can be the mother Lili needs. I'm tired"

"Andy, look at me" Elsa said making me lift my head "I know you're scared and this is new to you, but you're not alone, you got us, Chris and me. You have your parents, your brothers and I'm sure the girls at the Club would do anything for you too. You're doing the best you can and that's amazing. No mother is perfect and I include myself, you're going to stumble a thousand times but those are experiences"

"I don't think I can do this without Charlotte" I said between sobs.

"I know, I know" The blonde replied "I know it's a difficult position, but you're not alone. Don't forget that you are a very strong person and you'll be able to handle all of this"

"I'm trying Elsa, I swear" I said letting out a sigh "But I'm mentally unstable right now"

"It's okay to ask for help, Andy" She said kissing my forehead "Have you talked to anyone else about how you feel?"

"Not that deeply" I replied softly "I'm going back to therapy as soon as I get back to London"

"That's a very good idea" Elsa said with a smile "Therapy will help you a lot to understand everything you're feeling but remember that I'll always be there for you"

"I know and I really appreciate it" I said drying my tears.

"What else is on your mind?" Elsa asked knowing me perfectly.

"The situation with Scarlett is killing me" I replied sighing.

"I know the situation with Scarlett is very difficult for you. It's understandable, but remember that you are not responsible for her actions" Elsa began to say "You need to focus on yourself and your well-being"

"I love her" I said feeling my heart tighten "But I also have feelings for Emily"

"It's okay to have multiple feelings" The blonde started to say "But you have to be sure, 'cause I don't think you want to hurt Emily"

"No, I don't want that" I said giving her a small smile.

Elsa and I continued talking until we were interrupted by Chris who walked in with Lili in his arms.