Is this wrong?

Case.

Y/n: "The victim was a 22-year-old woman named Sarah. She was found dead in her apartment, which was located in a high-rise building in the city center. The crime scene was very bloody, her throat was slit. The police were able to determine that Sarah had been stabbed multiple times." I say looking at the team, trying to avoid Reid's gaze.

Hotch: "The case is in Miami. Wheels up in 30'" he says firmly, standing up. 

The team stands up and heads to each personal desk or office. I reach my workstation and start to check in my go-bag, ensuring I have everything I need. I feel a pair of eyes burning into my back. I know who is staring at me, so I decide to close my bag and head towards the jet quickly. As I was walking I felt a presence near me, I turned around only to see Derek studying me. 

Y/n: "Take a picture it will last longer," I say jokingly. Derek laughs and starts speaking.

Derek: "Oh believe me I will. No, but jokes aside, are you okay sweetheart? The fight between you and Reid in the roundtable room seemed intense." He says, his expression shifting from laughing to worry and seriousness.

Y/n: "What are you talking about Derek? Me and Reid fight all the time." I say, trying to brush it off. 

Derek: "Yeah believe me I know, but this time... I don't know it seemed personal." He says as we arrive in front of the jet, placing his hand on my shoulder. 

Y/n: "Nothing changed, we still hate each other, like every other day since the day we met.  I'm fine, now let's go." I say firmly, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. I walk into the jet, but Derek stays still. 

I placed my bag on top of my seat, then I sank into the place next to Emily and in front of JJ. I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try to relax myself.

Emily: "Are you ok babe? Did something else happen?" She asks worried, then JJ chimes in.

JJ: "I was thinking the same, how are you holding up by the way?" She says while placing her hand on my knee, trying to comfort me. 

Y/n: "Yeah I'm fine. Apart from the fight with Reid and the talk with Derek, nothing else happened." I was hoping that they would drop the topic and choose another one, but of course, that didn't happen.

JJ: "Wait, what did Derek talk about?" 

Y/n: "He just said that the fight between me and Reid seemed 'more personal' than the other ones. As if." I scoff, but when I look up I see sympathetic looks on the faces of Emily and JJ. "what?"

Emily: "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but he's not wrong." 

JJ: "She's right sweetheart, 'you don't care about me'? I mean that doesn't sound very 'coworkery'" 

Y/n: "Well I mean I care about you guys, so why can't I state a fact? He doesn't care about me, plus, I'm fucking 30 years old, I can drink whenever the fuck I want." I say annoyed. Emily and JJ exchange a glance and then they turn to face me. 

Emily: "Love, we are friends, we care about each other, and I know that you and Reid care about each other too, maybe just as coworkers who hate each other, or maybe as something else. But it is a little strange hearing you two fight about the fact that he cares about you. Usually, your fights are about how his hair look, who finished the coffee, and shit like that, not about serious things like this." She says while rubbing my hand with her thumb. 

I groan loudly, sinking deeper into my seat while covering my face with my hands out of frustration. I desperately wanted to change the topic. I grab my headphones and put on some music, hoping that the music will fog out my thoughts. 

------------------------------------------------------------

SPENCER'S POV:

She looked beautiful even when she was angry at me. She was perfect and I fucked it up, I wanted to talk to her, tell her what I felt but she was infuriating. 

She drank yesterday, she drank because of me, I felt guilty but it wasn't entirely my fault. I had my reasons why I didn't want the team to know about us, what about our job? Our image? What if they divide the team or worse, fire us? I couldn't do that to her, she loved her job, and it wasn't fair for me to sweep in and take that from her.

I stared at her as she read the file in her hand, slightly moving her head along the music she was listening to. She looked beautiful, but she always bit her lip when she was focusing on something, it drove me crazy. It made me feel overwhelmed, I wanted to do unspeakable things to her when she did that, she looked ethereal like she wasn't real. My thoughts were cut short by a strong male voice, I turned towards the direction of the voice. Of course, Derek saw me staring at Y/n.

Derek: "Hey pretty boy, you look like a creep. You are staring at her like you want to eat her up, and not in a good way" 

I scoff, "Shut up, Derek." I scolded him. I hated the fact that he would always notice everything I did.

Derek: "Come on Spencer, you know I'm joking. But do you want to tell me why are you staring at her like that, and don't give me 'I hate her' bullshit"

Reid: "Fine. I-I don't know, she drives me crazy, every time I'm around her I feel strange, goosebumps start to travel on my back, and- Fuck she makes me so damn mad. All. The. Fucking. Time." I say as I sink in my seat frustrated, I turn to face Derek, an infuriating smirk plastered on his face. "What?" I ask annoyed, but still curious about what he will say.

Derek: "Sounds like you like her to me, kid." He says chuckling.

Reid: "What?! No, no way, I hate her, I know I hate her. Sure she's beautiful but that's it."

Derek: "Sure kid, keep telling yourself that." Morgan says laughing. 

Was he laughing? What the actual fuck? I'm going through a real-life crisis and he laughs? 

Anyway, I'm sure I hate her. I mean, she's beautiful, and her laugh can light up the entire world. When she enters a room, everything seems to disappear, but I can't stand her. I hate her. 

I hate her right?