Flight Risk

43 - The Lodge

Caleb and I sat across from each other in a restaurant with strong hunter's-cabin-in-the-woods vibes from the wooden furniture to the stacked log walls and ceiling beams, stone, floor-to-ceiling fireplace, and traditional snowshoes mounted on the wall.

"I don't suppose you've been to similar cabins like this in Australia, do you?"

Caleb swallowed as his gaze swept the room before landing on me. "Sorry, I didn't realize it would be so... I'm not sure how I feel about that polar bear skin rug." He eyed the large item hung up high.

Its dark false eyes stared back at me with none of the warmth of this afternoon's bears. "It seems to be in poor taste to decorate with the real fur of the town's main wildlife attraction. Perhaps it died of natural causes?"

That it may have been a mother like our final polar bear sighting we had of a mom and her sweet, energetic cub in the tundra grass was a possibility my heart would not consider.

"I hope so. We can go elsewhere if you like."

"We'll be alright. I'll just stay clear of eating any animals we saw, like the elk."

He studied the menu. "I can't believe it's our last night in town, and I'm only taking you out for a meal now."

"It's only our second night here, and you've treated me to almost every tour available in Churchill."

"Not the helicopter ones, or the Ithaca shipwreck, and there's no guarantee the northern lights will come out tonight."

I had to chuckle at his need to take my statement literally. "I believe they will. Those solar flares and coronal mass ejections are secretly romantics."

He grinned and took my hands in his. "Just when I think I can't love you any more than I already do."

I beamed at him, brushing my foot against his under the table so even more of our bodies would be in contact. "Would it sour the moment to tell you I researched those facts at the hotel to impress you?"

"I would love to see the science behind the romantic attraction regarding stars."

His teasing grin was contagious.

"You know what I meant. And who is to say that they aren't? The planets are formed of material leftover from the birth of the sun. In a sense, they're like star offspring, and we're creations of stardust and the conditions on those planets, so the sun is like our celestial grandparent who would want to see us thrive."

I released a breath and let my shoulder muscles soften. That was a mouthful.

Caleb continued to smile and raised an eyebrow. "I help you thrive?"

"Yeah, you help me through the tough moments by reassuring me that either they are awful and I'm justified in my frustration or that I'm way too hard on myself and need to relax. Both make me a lot more settled and able to focus on what matters."

Anyone from a friend or family member could fill that role, and it didn't have to be romantic, but I'd moved away from most of my close friends and shame had led me to shut them out after my split with Trevor. My fear of my mom's criticism dulled most of her support, and my dad was too quiet a supporter to challenge my anxiety. For someone to see all of me and love me with no biological imperative or wishes for me to change was healing and life changing.

Caleb reached out for my hand, as I couldn't keep the blend of pain and happiness out of the tense muscles of my face. He looked on with compassion, though wrinkles undulated through his brow. "And what matters most to you?"

"Living my life by my terms and shoving away everyone else's expectations."

He bit his lip and his fingers twitched within mine. "And do I... do my expectations..."