Flight Risk

36 - Polar Bear Alley

Thirty minutes after leaving the town, we pulled over at a beach area that overlooked Hudson's Bay, with a mix of small light-coloured rocks, darker bouldered sections, and sand.

Once the guide confirmed it was safe to depart the bus, we still checked for bears but found none. A cool breeze cut right through my sweater, sending goosebumps across my skin, and I rubbed at my biceps.

Marcela mentioned going hunting for wildflowers, and Caleb's eyes lit up.

"You should go," I said.

"Do you want to come?" He encased my hand in his warm one. As much as I loved being around him, I needed time alone to reflect on our future or lack thereof.

"I'll stay on the beach here."

He didn't release my hand but studied me more closely than on the bus. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine, I'm just tired from the train."

He scrutinized the rocky landscape with a furrowed brow. "I don't want to leave you alone in polar bear country."

"You're not. The guide's right here. Don't miss out because of me."

Yannick cleared his throat. "I can stay. Believe it or not, I've seen plenty of wildflowers."

Caleb looked between Marcela and me.

"Just go. It's not like you're off on a big hike. You won't be out of our line of sight or gone for over five minutes," I said.

"You're sure?"

When I nodded, he pecked me on the cheek and followed Marcela.

"I can't muster up her enthusiasm for it each day," Yannick said. "Thank goodness Caleb can."

The idea had been intriguing, but having a few moments away from Caleb would help clear my head or send my thoughts spiralling. My brain wasn't always a great ally.

Yannick continued, "The coast is perfect for me. If those chairs were in better shape, I'd have a rest."

One white and one green plastic patio chair sat blown over on the beach. They were discoloured enough that they must have remained there for a while. Did locals come out here to take in the coast? It seemed like a pleasant spot if you got over the polar bear risk, which still scratched at my senses as unexpected sounds made me tense, even if they were only tourists displacing rocks.

Yannick turned to me. "Forgive me if this is overstepping, but are you okay? I only ask because I've been where you are, and although it can be exciting, I don't envy your situation."

My next inhale was shaky like the spruce trees in the arctic winds, and I bit my lip to steady myself. I must have looked a wreck if Caleb and Yannick, who I'd only met last night, picked up on it enough to ask.

"How hard is the separation?" The answer would be discouraging, but I had to know.

Yannick's wince answered the question for me. "It's heartbreaking, confusing, frustrating, unfair, all those pleasant feelings." His smile wasn't as natural as it had been on the bus.

That sounded as fun and painful as fighting a polar bear.

"Can I ask how you go through it? Because you two are quite happy now."

I wanted that with Caleb as much, if not more, than I wanted to see the Great Barrier Reef. Ideally, I'd experience both, but if I had to choose, it would be a future with him.

Yannick smiled softly at me like it wasn't an invasive question to ask a stranger, although shortly after meeting Caleb, we'd had personal conversations.