You, Again

Like Riding a Bike

Devin would have loved to say that her sex with Christian was like riding a bike. But in truth it wasn't. As familiar as he was to her, she was unsure what do. He was kissing her neck and she ran her fingers through his hair. She felt suddenly nervous. His words asking her to give herself to him made her aware of how far they were about to fall. There was no coming back from this.

"Hey, where'd you go?" He mumbled into her neck, gently kissing his way up down from her ear to her collarbone, stopping to pull aside her shirt to access more skin.

"I'm here, I'm here." She tried to pull herself back into the moment. Almost mechanically, she ran her lips over his forehead and pulled his chin up from her chest to meet her own. Kissing him felt natural. It felt right.

"Devin." He pulled back from her lips and looked her in the eye.

"Are you okay?" Devin ran her hands through her hair from her own frustration.

"I'm scared." She said it barely above a whisper. At once she felt the air escape from his body, all the anticipation easing into care.

"Are you disappointed? I'm sorry I know how much you wanted this." She took in the full scene. Her straddled on his lap, his hands on her hips. His face flush from the heat they had just exchanged that was now quickly deflating.

"Absolutely not. What would make you think I would be disappointed?" He looked back at her quizzically.

"This, us, me stopping all of this." She waved her hands around gesturing at both of them and the room.

"Devin, I just told you I loved you. What would make you think I'd run away so soon?" She finally looked him in the eye and saw the look of devotion he had for her. Devin had to admit he had a point.

"Tell me what you're afraid of. Let me in." He brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"I just..." She took a deep breath. "It's scary to think that after all this time we finally found each other. The timing has never been right and weirdly, I took comfort in that because it was predictable. This, you, us it's not predictable. And what if we mess it up?" She wiped a tear from her eye. She hadn't realized this would make her so emotional.

"We might. Highly doubtful considering how long we've known each other and how long I've been in love with you. But we might. You might drive me crazy with your refusal to match your socks after doing laundry. I might tick you off with how much I hate washing the frying pan. You might even decide that you don't love me and while yes, that would be devastating, we'd figure out a way to get through it. Dev, has it ever occurred to you that I consider you one of my best friends?" Devin's head snapped to attention. She had never heard him use that language before. I love you had felt almost easier to hear than this.

"What? Since when?"

"Um, since always."

"What about all the times we didn't talk."

"What about them?"

"How could you consider me your best friend if we weren't speaking."

"As I recall, we were never not speaking. You were flitting in and out of my life and I was okay with that because you always came back. You've been around for all the big and small moments in my life and I like to think I've been there for yours. I got used to having you around sometime around senior year, and since then I've always assumed you'd consider being around in some capacity or other." Devin ran her hands over the buttons of his shirt. She liked the texture of the fabric and the feeling of his hard, strong chest underneath it.

"You really mean that?" She loved the feeling of his laugh pouring out of him like a burst of energy that was too much to hold.

"Of course I do. I'm in this for the long haul Dev. For the record, you'd have to leave me before I ever left you." His hands wandered up from her hips to her rib cage and squeezed lightly.