You, Again

No Love Lost

Devin and Nev spent nearly every day, every hour together. Devin couldn't believe her luck. She had met this great guy abroad of all places. It was just like every rom-com book she had ever read. Girl travels and meets illustrious foreign stranger. They fall madly in love and bing bang boom, she's moving back to London to be with him after graduation. That was her plan anyway. A plan she had yet to share with Nev who after three months together and never getting a break from her was starting to wonder what he had gotten himself into.

"I'm going out tonight." He said to her before pulling on his t-shirt. She practically lived in his bed now and while she sometimes felt guilty about not seeing her school friends or skipping trips – she knew they would understand. This was love. They just weren't lucky enough to be in it so they couldn't possibly understand where she was coming from.

Christian especially. He had made it known in no uncertain terms that he thought Devin was a prized fool. It was only two weeks ago in the beginning of November where we cornered her at her birthday party. Her birthday party of all places, why he thought that was a good idea was beyond her. But he had cornered her to tell her that she should be mindful of Nev's flirtations with other women. He said he was worried. He said she should be careful. At one point he had literally pointed directly across the room at Nev who was remarkably close to a new girl she hadn't seen before and yet she refused to see what Christian was pointing out.

"You're just jealous because he asked me out and you never did. You missed your chance Chris." She took a large gulp of lukewarm beer. She was tipsy and she didn't care what type of vile was spilling out of her mouth, no matter how untrue it may be. Later that night she tried to block out the image of his face recoiling in what was it? Disgust? Horror? Pity? Whatever it was he had taken a large exasperated step back from her and they hadn't spoken since.

"Devin did you hear me?" Nev waved a hand across the room. He had gotten fully dressed by now and Devin pulled herself out of the flashback.

"Yea of course. You're going out. So you won't be around to meet my family?" She let the awkward tension float in the air. Her entire family was coming to visit for Thanksgiving. She had fully intended for them to meet Nev, her first real boyfriend. But he had never quite said yes or no to the introduction.

"Erm, yea no sorry not tonight. But maybe some other day they're here." There was a knock at the door and he pulled his jacket on before opening it. Devin pulled his bedsheet up trying to cover at least one part of her body for decency's sake.

"Right let's go." She didn't recognize the voice but she knew the face. It was the girl from the party. She had never formally met her but she wouldn't forget the purple streak in her hair or the leather jacket covered in pins. Had it been any other girl Devin would have complimented her on her style.

"Ready." Nev began pulling the door closed before thinking twice about introducing the women.

"Devin, Andrea. Andrea, Devin. Andrea's from my bio class." Devin gave a half-hearted wave as Andrea gave her a nod.

"Nice to meet you. Nev we've really got to get going. Everyone else already left- I told them we'd meet them there." Nev had the decency to look confused at the idea of traveling with just Andrea.

"Devin do you want to come?" Now it was Devin's turn to be confused. She was naked in his bed under a sheet and he was asking her to go out? Now?

"Um, no I'm good. Just leave me your key. I'll sleep here tonight." She looked pointedly at Andrea as Nev pulled his physical door key off his key ring. They all had individual bedroom keys and Devin wanted to make sure Andrea knew who he was coming home to.

"Okay let's go. Dev I'll see you later. Enjoy mom and dad." He pulled the door shut without so much as a kiss goodbye and Devin couldn't help but look out his window after they had left. She watched as they walked down the long path towards the school's gates and the tube station and she pushed down the sinking feeling that something was very, very wrong.

Later that night, long after she had gotten home from dinner with her family, she heard his door click open. She had left it unlocked and had tossed and turned in bed waiting for him to come home. It was just after 2 am. She heard him stumble into the room, quite literally stumble into the bathroom door, the desk chair, the bed. She felt his ice cold body climb under the covers – cold from the near winter air outside. She felt his hand slide across her belly and him kiss her sloppily on her shoulder. She was just drifting off to sleep when she heard him say, "Dev, I made a mistake tonight." And then her blood ran cold.

In the end it was the classic abroad cliché of her being cheated on by her international boyfriend with an international girl of mystery. To his credit, he told her immediately. But she lost it. She burst into tears in his bed. Then ripped herself out from under his sheets at 4 am and stumbled into her own room where she cried so hard she gave herself a migraine. Her heart smashed into one-thousand pieces and no one to help her pick them up. She had isolated herself from friends who had moved on to other groups. She had no one to talk to, no one to wallow with. When she saw Joe or Christian they glanced away. She felt like a pariah with the Scarlet Letter on her dress.

How could she have been so foolish? How could he have done this to her? How could he ruin them with only three weeks to go before she left? How could he break her heart?

The answer was simple: He didn't love her. She loved him, fiercely. But Nev didn't love her. He didn't love Andrea either. He had cheated and the sad part was that two weeks before she left, she forgave him. She said she was doing it for the betterment of the flat, less tension and less drama. But the truth was, she forgave him because she wanted him to take her back. And he never did.