See you again ✓

• 31 • Bittersweet memories •

• /!\ • Sweet mature content • /!\ •

Jamie's point of view

Walking down the neighborhood, I stand in front of my old place and I couldn't help but fix my gaze in the flowers around. Most of it withered and my anemones was one of them. I bit my lips and hold my breath for a second as I couldn't believe this was really happening.

"The storm ruined most of them," a female voice blurt behind me. "

I turn around to see it was my tenant, Katherine - a 70 years old woman - kind and pure to her soul. Now that I remember, the weather wasn't really smiling to us these times around. I wonder if it was this cloudy too in Chaston. She opens the gate and we direct ourselves towards the flowers.

"The anemones had a hard time lately. The petals have started withering days before the storm, I had no idea why." she adds as I keep staying silent. "But I think I managed to keep one root safe...It's inside, come in!" she enthusiastically calls.

We walk through her cozy living room, next to the kitchen and finally arrived at the terrace where lots of flowers were unbelievably blossoming. It was like this place of the house was another level of well-kept garden.

"Here it is...There you go," she picks and gives me the flower pots on which was blooming the surviving anemone. "This is where I keep the remaining flowers ever since the stormy day had started. Do you want to keep it or ...?"

I look at her, still unbelieving this anemone managed to survive among his peers.

"C...Can I?" I stammer with relief and regrets.

"Of course! I'd be more than glad to give it to you back!" she warmly smiles at me. "And I think it's safer if you have it yourself."

"Thank you...thank you so much," I slip out a teardrop.

"Oh sweetheart. There's no need to cry for this." her voice empathizes. "Here, let's have some tea. It'll refresh you up." she then suggests, smiling and heading to the kitchen as I follow her from behind.

We chatted alot about so many different things - love, life, job, wisdom, choices and so many other I can't name. She really is a good company. She almost feels like home. Perhaps she reminds me of my mother. After a while, I finally leave her place and go back to our usual family home, this time to celebrate the 80th birthday of our patriarch, Morrison. Ross and Christine had their twins - Kay and Rheese. A few years ago, Jonah and Liz had also married and they welcomed a daughter - Riley, a few months after their union.

Standing in the kitchen, I smile through the window as I watch the children playing on the lawn. I saw in them a dream world I’ve always wished to experience if fate hadn’t decided otherwise.

Fate. Nonsense.

Who deserved paradise? Who deserved hell? Who deserved the middle ground? And who
decides all this, anyway? God? The universe with its billions of stars? If so, did I really need to have cancer to better understand the true meaning of my life? Why did this so-called fate find fun in poisoning my life? I had never asked for much, only for peace and courage to overcome life’s tough challenges.

Cancer itself is a challenge.
But is it a necessary one?

Can I not simply live and get back to my normal life? No. Because this was now a part of me that I have to carry within myself and no one can really escape oneself. I became one with my disease and there was only one thing left for me to do - live with it.

Most of my life, I have tried anticipating everything but now how was I supposed to live with this invasive and unexpected intruder which was even leading me to sacrifice one of the people I cherished most in this world?

"It’s not too late, you know," a nearby voice brings me back to reality.

It was Angela. She has came to finish preparing the salad she had made, a cigarette hanging from her mouth.

"Dad will kill you if he catches you smoking in the house."

"He’s failed many times before," she winks after closing the fridge and setting the salad bowl on the counter. "By the way, where’s your ring?”

I don't reply. I’ve always appreciated my aunt’s company but truth be told, I didn't want the conversation to focus on Collin. Probably because I was trying to escape my past, my mistakes…my regrets.

"Jamie, sweetheart..."

"I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind, please. Thank you.”

“Alright, but let me tell you this: you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last to find yourself in this situation. Don’t ever forget that.”

Angela finishes mixing the salad and leaves the kitchen. From afar, I can hear her shouting to everyone that lunch was ready. The moment she left, dad walked in unable to resist commenting on the smell of cigarette smoke lingering in the air.

“Damn it! She can’t help leaving traces everywhere!” he mumbles. “Anyway, lunch is ready.”

"Yeah, I’ll be right there. Just give me a second.” I hold my teary eyes.

I had to force myself to put on smiles here and there to avoid any prying questions from family members. I know they’ve all expected to see me with my fiancé and my solo appearance alone could spark their curiosity. But they knew me too well - how reserved and highly private I am when it comes to my love life. My only confidant and best advisor had always been her father and would remain so for as long as he’ll live. Angela was second in line, followed by Anna. So to avoid any awkwardness, they refrain their urge from asking a thousand questions.

After the usual rituals - speeches, lunch and dessert - the family dispersed throughout the house according to their interests. Some were gathering around the swimming pool, while some were having fun playing chess in the living room. I take advantage of that moment to disappear in my usual room. True, it’s quieter but it's also what I needed.

I step inside and close the door behind me. I remember Collin and I have shared several meals with my family ever since I moved to Chaston and our engagement. And this room had seen all the highs and lows since then, witnessed countless moments we shared. Sometimes, I would even swear feeling him whenever I closed my eyes. I walk toward the closed window, through which the sun illuminated the room. A chill runs down my spine as the warm sunlight gently touches my skin. A hot breath seemed to impossibly graze the back of my neck as I dive back into our shared moments.

I closed my eyes. Collin was standing behind me. He brushed my long hair aside, pressed his lips against my neck then behind my ear - tender, moist and sensual. A kiss meant to tease my desires. The sunbeam caressed our bodies, intensifying our mutual needs. His hand began to trace along my back, with a delicate and delightful touch. I slowly turned to face him, ready to lose myself in his embrace. His hand brushed my face after he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. In our gaze, we sought each other. We sought passion and lust - two sins that could only lead to one inevitable outcome: bringing us together in this heated moment.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. We moved even closer. He filled me with one long, vigorous and desirous kiss. I kissed back with need, desire and pleasure. It wasn’t me anymore and it was no longer him. It was no longer our bodies but our souls united - united by our heartbeats and the rhythm of our kisses. I could hear the sound of belonging resonating in the silence of the room.

He lifted me to the bed, gently laying me down, not breaking our physical union. His kisses wandered between my lips, my neck, my chest and everywhere else I couldn't mention. He had explored the rest of my body so many times before, but he never seemed to grow tired of it. And as for me, I always felt vulnerable and relaxed with him. I surrendered because it was Collin.

I clung to him - my hand running through his back, his hair and the fabric covering the bed. My nails scratched his back, but it didn’t seem to bother him. Quite the opposite, he loved that reaction - it made him give more than he thought he could. He touched my body, my thigh, my hidden part. I shivered with each contact - shivers expressed through goosebumps and soft moans. Our hands intertwined as he pressed his lips fervently against mine and soon enough, the ecstasy reached its peak.