I Do I Did

Twenty Six

Pete had no idea how long he'd been sitting at his desk. Staring down at the divorce papers in front of him. Just having them in front of him was making him anxious. He couldn't even imagine how much he'd freak out if he had to actually give them to someone.

He closed the folder and felt some of his anxiety slip away. He lifted the folder up and tossed it in the bin beside his desk. There. That was better.

How the hell could he choose between the two? Meagan was beautiful, understanding, smart, and caring. But she had a mean streak. Patrick gorgeous, talented, funny, open and one of the nicest people he'd ever met. But he had his problems too. How did someone pick between diamond and gold?

It was a little ironic. Here he was sitting in a room with divorce papers that needed to be filed to one of two people. And he didn't know who to choose. While both of those two people were probably sitting in a room, wishing they'd never even married him.

There was a knock at Pete's door. He looked up, wishing he could see through it. It was probably just one of the maids. Maybe it was Meagan. But she knew she wasn't allowed near his office. His heart began beating faster. Maybe it was Patrick.

"Come in." He called out.

The door opened and Brendon walked in. Closing the door gently behind himself. Pete stiffened in his seat. He'd heard what Ryan said on the phone about scissors and cutting dicks off. And he knew he was talking to Brendon.

"Oh, calm down. I didn't come in here to cut your dick off." He rolled his eyes. "Ryan hid my good scissors anyway."

"Then why are you here?"

"I just wanted to have a conversation with you." He walked slowly over to the desk.

"About?" Pete slid his chair back.

"There's just some things I don't understand."

"Like?"

"You broke up with Meagan. That's how all this started, right?"

"Right."

"Whose brilliant fucking idea was it for you hire a boyfriend?"

"Your fiance's."

"I should have guessed." Brendon shook his head. "And why did you pick Patrick?"

"Again, Your fiance. He picked him up from a bar and brought him here."

"I remember that night." He muttered thoughtfully.

"You know, I didn't even like Patrick the first time I saw him." Pete laughed at at himself.

"He told me something like that at the wedding. It makes sense now."

"It took me a while to... warm up to him."

"To love him?" Brendon stared at him.

"Yeah." He muttered awkwardly.

He took a while to love Patrick. Or at least to admit he loved Patrick. His eyes flickered towards the divorce papers in the bin. Brendon followed his gaze, confused.

He walked over and lifted the manilla folder up. Opening it before Pete could stop him. His eyes widened as he read the top of the paper. He glanced up at Pete.

"What's this for?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Pete looked down at his lap.

"You're right." Brendon closed the folder and sat it on the desk instead of back in the bin. "The better question would be who is it for."

"I-I don't know."

"Well, who do you love more?"

Pete's eyes snapped back up to Brendon. "You can't just ask that."

"I just did."

"I-I love them both." He glanced away again. Knowing his next sentence was going to be the most selfish one he'd ever spoken. "I want to keep them both."

"You're not Hannah fucking Montana, Pete." Brendon snapped. "You can't have the best of both worlds."

"I know that!" He groaned. Hiding his face in his hands.

"If you're not going to let go of Meagan, then you need to let Patrick be free. Let him date. Let him kiss. Let him screw who he wants. Stop interfering with his life!"

"I can't!" Pete jumped to his feet. "Do you have any idea how much it would kill me to see him happy with someone else? Can you even fathom the amount of hurt I'd feel?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I can." Brendon crossed his arms over his chest. "It'll definitely hurt. But not even half as much as it would hurt to live in house with the man you love and his wife. To know you're not the only one he's saying 'I love you' to. Knowing he's touching her when he's not with you. That's what the hell Patrick feels every day."

"Damnit, Brendon!"

Pete kicked his chair back. Causing it to slam against the wall behind it. But that didn't help with the frustration he was feeling. So he reached over and slapped the stack of magazines from his desk. Hard enough to leave a stinging sensation in his hand.

The magazines scattered around the floor. The pictures of Pete, Meagan and Patrick covered them. They stared up at him. Watching him. Taunting him.

"Fuck your feelings." He heard Brendon say in a cool voice. "All I care about are Patrick's."

"I care about his feelings too."

"Then why do you keep fucking with them? When he hurts, I hurt. And you don't want me to hurt."

"I just don't know what to do." Pete ran his fingers through his hair. Pulling on it.

"You know exactly what to do. And you know exactly who you should do it to."

"No I-"

"Yes you do." Brendon interrupted the bitch ass excuse he was about to make. "You know you love Patrick more. And I'm not just saying that because I want you to pick him. Trust me, I don't. I want him to divorce you, take half your shit and live a long, happy life with a decent guy like William."

Pete didn't respond. He just watched Brendon with darkened eyes. So Brendon continued.

"But Patrick obviously doesn't want anyone but you. As much as I hate that, I want him to be happy." He stared Pete directly in the eyes. The deep brown clashing with the light hazel. His next words were said slowly and deliberately emotionless. "And if you don't make him happy, I. Will. Hurt. You."

"You can't threaten me."

"I make promises. Not threats."

"I'm not afraid of you, Brendon." Okay. Maybe just a little. "You're right though. I may love Patrick more. But Meagan is pregnant and-"

"Save it!" He held up a hand. "You can be a father to your child without being a husband to Meagan."

"You're right." Pete sighed. "God, I hated saying that."

Brendon smiled. Some of the tension escaped the room.

"Now, my best friend is crying in that room down the hall. You're going to go in there and tell him that you're sorry. And that you're divorcing Meagan."

"Okay." Pete nodded. "But I'm not doing it because you told me to. I'm doing it because I'm tired of hurting Patrick."

"I don't care why you're doing it. Just know that if you break his heart again, I'm gonna cut your dick off and hide it in my box of tampons."

Brendon turned and walked out of the door. Pete stood in place for a few seconds. Trying to find the words to say to Patrick to fix everything. But his mind was coming up empty. He thought back to all the things Brendon said and he sighed.

"Why does he still own a box of tampons?" He muttered into the empty room.