Poems Of Distress

Unsaid Wishes

You roam around,
having fun with your friends,
My limbs drift towards you,
with a small smile,
Just saying hi and pass by you.

My longing eyes are
still lingering at you ,
Disappearing laughing lines slowly with our increasing distance.
Busy again with them , I see ...
Why would you acknowledge me and my heart ?

I wish I were them ,
I wish I were that close to you.
I wish we could eat together
Wish you wanted to do every single chore, errands with me forever.

No I don't hate them, it's just
I wish you could atleast include me together if not just the two of us...
I have never said it out loud , never will,
Because I know,
I have no place to , it's wrong.
Just for my selfish desires, I can't break your friendship.

I wish you asked my help
for anything you need.
I wish you could come whining and lay in my arms complaining till I sooth you.
I wish you shared all your happiness and miseries with me.

I wish you didn't treat me like a distant friend whom you barely know , outside of our room.
It hurts , I've never said but your ignorance hurts baby.
I don't even have the right to call you that , pathetic me no?

Sometimes when we walk together to school, I wish I could hold your hand without much thought.
Sometimes I could wish I could hug you
Without having to consider your feelings that you might not like it.

I wish when on rare occasions I hugged you , I really wish I hugged you without being so cautious, without that loose hold , without fear.
would you hate me if I did?

What ifs of my wanted actions scare me till I break and mend again , to try to be closer, a bit more...

When you seem tired, I take away your pain , telling you to sit still , like a parent
Although you didn't consider my words just because I was trying to establish my dreamy possession to you but because you knew you would love it.

You said I'm a close friend, I wonder if I really am ?
Tears brimmed in my eyes , sad smile spreading over my face , I wish you noticed, I wish you asked, What's on my mind...

I wanted to pour my heart out and be honest, but I didn't for I was scared that I will lose the tiniest interest and care you hold for me.
Blinked them away , wetting my lashes and cheeks.

I kissed you good night on your temple hastily...
Though I wanted to kiss your forehead, both cheeks, nose , eyes , lips .
my lips lingering on your skin a little longer ...

Even now , I wanted to ask if I can lay with you for a little longer, but I knew you were sleepy from my pamper treatment, so I left with a heavy heart.

I wanna be so honest, raw and pour out everything inside me but I can't.
I can't afford to lose you too.

I'm glad my efforts and intentions matter a little and you don't feel uneasy from my touch as you said whilst I kept massaging your tired body.

These heavy feelings make me feel so lonely sometimes that I just want to hide in your chest,scream and weep.
Only in dreams...
I wish I was a major reason for your smile.
In dreams...

Five months from now on , we'll part ways and I might never be able to see you again, feel your touch or even your presence.
I will miss you everyday , smiling teary eyed for these bittersweet memories.

And the funny thing is,
I don't love you.

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Poet's note:
Idk wtf did I just write, no it can't be considered as a poem , I didn't put any effort in this to make it sound like one.

It's more like a diary entry of my feelings.
When I acknowledge I'm hurt , I just jot it down not a new thing but...

This pure hurtful emotion, I wrote this after a long time.
Sorry if it sounds boring guys.

Thank you for reading.