Tiny Glowing Screens|Daniel.Seavey

Smother- daughter.

Guys I fear I might actually need to start hitting people cause why the fuck is year 7s acting like this?

"Nah, miss he's chatting away. Tell him to shut up cause I'll actually spin his jaw. Mad annoying." They kept whispering. Every time I looked away they'd just talk. "Getting annoying now."

"What's he saying? I can't hear him." I tut, slumping in my seat. "Not doing this. I can't be arsed miss. Shut the fuck up Thomas. Actually bare fucking annoying you know."

"Have you heard it? Miss come on it's funny. We're joking." He was really starting to piss me off to the point of me wanting to cry. It was embarrassing. "Imogene you're taking it to heart for no reason."

"No reason? You sit and chat shit about me and call me a whore then mock the way I speak. You don't think I don't know you drew that picture of my mum? Fucking saddo. Actually just shut up."

"Miss I was making a joke." I stood up from the chair, the lump in my throat almost making me throw up. "About my mum? Are you actually stupid? Who the fuck does that? What you just woke up and was like 'yeah I'm gonna be funny me, gonna draw a girls dead mum with flames around it' are you actually backwards?"

"It literally wasn't even that deep though. It was a drawing." There's no way somebody can be that fucking stupid. "Are you bent? That's actually mad."

"You're making a big deal about it-"

"Yeah cause my mum died. Thomas. My mum fucking died and I've got bellends like you treating me like shit day in and day out. Drawing me with scars and bruises like it's funny. It's actually jarring. You think it's funny and it makes you weird. Cause who the fuck finds that funny?"

"The people that helped me. Clearly." He snickered. "Thomas. Leave. Now."

"Why am I leaving? She's telling and swearing. Speaking weird with that— what's the word? The chavvy accent."

"Do you actually know how offensive that word is?" He hums. "Do you actually think I care?"

I know violence isn't necessarily the best response. But I couldn't physically deal with this any other way. "I hate you!"

I'm not sure I've ever been a good person, so this wouldn't affect my conscious or anything. I wasn't letting somebody like that just get away with it.

"I fucking hate you!" But now I'm at a point where it's my father I've become. I've spent my whole life trying to live up to my mums standards. But I can't do it anymore.

"Parks, let go!" It took Tyler and Charlie to get me off him. It didn't take long for the anger to die out. I hadn't even left the classroom yet and I was already crying. "Watch her arms Charlie."

"I need the nurse to English, 103 please." Charlie moves out from under my arm. "You take her to my office I'll be there in a minute."

Tyler pulls me into his chest as my cries got a little louder. "I'm a horrible person. What did I do? What the hell did I do?"

The panic set in and my hands started to shake. "Tyler I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry please don't leave."

"Hey, no. No you're not the one in the wrong here. It's okay. Just try and calm down okay. I got you."

"My mums gonna hate me." I cried as he sat in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall as I hid on his lap. "She doesn't. Imogene I need you to breathe, please. You're not going to get into any trouble it's okay."

"She hates me. I know she does. I killed her and I stole her life and I'm a horrible person. I'm my father." Saying it out loud just felt so much worse. Like it made it real or something. "You're not your father. I can promise you that now."

"The way I talk, the way I act. I spent weeks trying to get out of the way I speak and he's just made me sound like some stupid girl with a shitty accent. I sound stupid when I say things. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be real. I can't do it."

"So you're telling me that every girl that speaks Liam you is stupid? You're calling girls stupid and saying they sound lien your dad?" I shook my head. "No."

"Not to mention the fact that your mom loved the shit out of you. I think if she lived you anymore she'd need counselling. You were her entire world. Also she never wanted to get older anyway- which is an awful way of seeing it. But she always hated the idea of being over 42."

"Why?" I asked, sitting up with my eyes burning. "Your mom was such a troubled person. She had so much going on that she knew she couldn't have physically made it anyway. She'd rather go out young and quick than old and slow. Even after she had you. Not because you didn't have an impact but because she was physically unwell."

"I didn't know." He lets out a shaky breath. "She didn't want you to know. She wouldn't ever let you go through that pain with her. She knew you would because she knew you loved her. I know that it's still difficult to get your head around. I cannot ever try to understand. But I'm here. I'm always right here for you."

"I didn't mean to hurt him. He just kept saying stupid shit and he was being so awful. He drew my mum on fire and dead. He drew me as a dog more times than I can count. I've ignored it for time and it's actually getting so jarring."

"I know. He's gonna be in trouble it's not like he's innocent. He's a stupid boy with nothing but time. Although, I do need you to understand that the strength you have is a lot harsher than you're aware. I need you to leave a situation if it starts to feel like you're getting too upset. Don't stay and make yourself apart of the issue. I know it's easier said than done. But you are such a smart girl and I know you can do it."

"I miss my mum." He moves the hair from my face. Smiling as softly as he could with his lip quivering. "She misses you too. I just know it. It's okay to feel sad about these things. Don't try and push it back just because you think it's stupid or you feel like you're 'doing too much'. Being sad isn't doing too much it's just, human."