Tiny Glowing Screens|Daniel.Seavey

The end- mcr

"No." I grit through my teeth, pushing him back with about as much force as a piece of paper would've had. "You broke my glass Claire. I'm not letting you go unharmed."

"Stop- stop!" My eyes shoot open, the sweat covering my eyes as the sun burns them. The burning started again, the line of blood from my back was stained onto my bedsheet. "Fuck!"

Moving into the bathroom, my shaky hands reaching for the needle and thread. I'd tried, I couldn't seem to get the right hold on it.

I got it around three times but after that I'd given up. "Stupid. Stupid girl!" Punching my arm against the door frame I felt the heat rush through my body.

Pulling my arms around to my front with the rest of the stitches from my unfixed scars, pulling apart like a spring.

I couldn't do anything, I didn't have the strength to do a single fucking thing.

I stumbled down to the back door. Pushing it open in hopes of it being colder outside. Falling face first into the pool like I was some little kid or something.

Leaving myself there for as long as I could, I didn't really need to get up. Nobody needed me.

It was burning my back, it was burning my eyes and my arms and my head. I didn't want to move. "Shit!" I felt the cold hands wrap around my waist, lifting me from the water.

"Are you fucking crazy!?" I heard my mother yell, my head spinning as I looked at her, my heart dropping as I found my father stood with that dreadful smile. "Get off me!"

Pushing my way out of the pool I dragged myself across the floor. "Please! Please just stay away from me! Stop!"

"Imogene!" Daniel screams, lifting my head up. His hair was a mess and his eyes were about as red as mine felt. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't- I wasn't trying to hurt you. Please don't be mad."

"Why would I be mad? Are you okay? You're bleeding a lot I have ti take you to the hospital." I pushed back even further, my back hitting the glass. "Fuck- no. No I'm fine. Please I can't go there. Please."

"It's okay. You're okay. I can't leave you like this. You're going to die, that's far too much blood." He lifts me up off the floor. "No! No I don't want to!" I screamed, my throat bleeding as I tried to fight it. "I'm sorry."

"I don't like it! Stop! Stop please! Mama! Mama please!" He lies me down in the front seat. My back facing the door as I started to feel dizzy. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

My eyes started to close but I managed to keep myself awake, my back was pulsing and the fear of being asleep at the hospital was far worse than anything else.

Daniel huffed out to much for me to understand a word, lying me down on the bed. "Please can you find my mum." I cried. "Please. I need her to tell them I'm fine."

********

I had absolutely, nothing. I was so fucking empty it felt like some kind of fucking joke. "She's awake yeah but you just have to be gentle. The nurse will be in the ask her questions. You can stay if she wants."

"Okay." Daniel stops by the side of me. Kissing my forehead. "I didn't think you'd want everybody around so I just said you went out of town to see everything."

"I miss my mum." I choked out. "I know. I wish I could help you. I wish I could bring her here. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I put you through all the trouble." He kisses over my face, moving the hair from my face. "No trouble. I'm just glad you're okay."

"I lied to you." He nodded, it was such a gentle kind of gesture. He seemed so okay with it. "I figured you'd have to. I should've left it when you said it was okay. I'm sorry I pushed you."

"I just didn't want to burden you with it. It's such a- big issue for me and it's ruined everything that I've done and I thought maybe I'd get a fresh start here but it just keeps coming back."

The door opened before I could say anything else. The nurse walking in with her clipboard. "Is he okay to stay?" I nodded. "Are you sure? It's not going to be a good conversation."

"It's okay." She nodded, moving over to the side Daniel was on. "It says here your father still had custody of you for a month. After your trail had gone through."

"Yeah. Uh the- the month my mum passed. He didn't lose and so they claimed him as my parent but then he got drunk and signed off on the emancipation."

"Right, okay that explains the gap. Was he still abusing you while in that month?" I nodded. "Were the scars we stitched from that month or a different time?"

"The one of the left is like ten years old I think but the other two are just a couple months. All the others are from different times I don't really remember." She hums with a nod.

"Were you planning on committing suicide today?" I hesitated, I really didn't mean to. It just sort of answered the question itself. "Would you consider rehab?"

"I can't do rehab. The hospital is bad enough I can't do rehab too." She looks up from her clipboard. "Why is the hospital bad?"

"I uhm, I watched my, my friend hang himself so it just sort of, can't see them as good places. I guess it just messed me up."

"I'm sorry. I'll get you early dismissal okay. All I ask is that you have somebody with you all the time. If I ask you know, unprofessionally and as a mother. Would you have written to anybody? If you'd given yourself the role. Would you write to somebody before you did it?"

My mind went right to Tyler, all the guys really. But Tyler. "Yeah."

"You don't think that would be a good reason to stay? Having somebody to write to. If you have somebody to write to then you have somebody to stay for. My kid always tells me they get scared because of how they feel, but they always have letters."

I hate that in that moment, all I could think about was how I missed my mum. Selfishly. "Having somebody there as it happens too. To have somebody worry enough to rush to you?"

"Yeah. I guess I just had a lot in my mind I didn't really think." She shrugs. "You wouldn't, you were trying to die. There's never really anything to think about other than the bad. You're not dying because your life is good. But you got out. You did something not a lot of woman can. I stay, not only for me, not only for my kid. But for the woman that couldn't. For the little girls that couldn't. Stay for the little girl you used to be."

"You're a good mum." Her smile was so wide I'd almost cried. "My kids started telling me, birds still sing. I'm not sure where they heard it but it seems to give them a good enough reason to smile."