loving you can make Jesus cry

abomination

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination" (Lev. 18:22).

"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them" (Lev. 20:13).

The conversation that Fourth had with Gemini lingered in his mind. He couldn't get it out of his head. He didn't know how to feel about it. He didn't know how to make out of it. He has always been so sure about God's love for his children. He couldn't understand why Gemini would say that he couldn't change who he was.

Growing up he has heard from his father and the priest that in the beginning God had created a man and a woman so that they could go forth and procreate. It had been instilled into him that marriage or any type of romantic love was a sacred union between a man and a woman. There wasn't any other way around it.

He himself has never been curious about girls. He imagined that one day that he would get married to a good Christian woman and they'll have good Christian children that they'll instill the sane good Christian values they grew up with. Not that Fourth had ever imagined himself with a woman but he just assumed that when the time was right God will send him the woman he was meant to marry and have children with.

He has never thought about what his ideal wife would be like. He just wanted her to be good. He was never like his peers at school who would describe their ideal women. He just wanted a good woman with good Christian values that his parents would approve of.

Yet his conversation with Gemini and most importantly the reveal about Gemini's sexuality left him wondering. Left him think about what it was he wanted in a partner. Yet as hard as he tried to picture himself with a woman, an empty face that he has never met he couldn't. Was it weird? Was something wrong with him? Maybe not. Maybe it was because he hadn't met her yet. A woman perfect only for him. One that God had created just for him.

The other thing that was bothering Fourth was Gemini being gay. He doesn't necessarily think that Gemini was an abomination for being gay nor did he dislike him for being gay. He just thinks that it's wrong and it made him feel guilty for thinking that way but the scripture clearly stated so, so it must be so. He thinks that Gemini can try to not be gay if he tried.

The scripture stated that if a person went to God and was seeking guidance in attempts of repentance then God would guide them. Maybe Gemini needed to pray about it. Yet Gemini did say he prayed about it, he told Fourth that he had begged God to change him and change his feelings so why was he still gay? Maybe Gemini wasn't praying right or maybe he wasn't trying hard enough. That could be it. Maybe if Fourth tried to guide him he could repent and he could be normal and maybe his faith would be restored.

He didn't see Gemini for a while after that conversation. He would see traces of him around their apartment. An empty cup on the sink. He would hear him in the shower and sometimes he would see glimpses of him leaving the apartment and wondered if Gemini was avoiding him.

It was Friday night when he saw Gemini again. He wasn't half naked this time, he was wearing shorts and a sleeveless baggy shirt that showed his ribs were the crucifix tattoo was peeking out. His hair was wet indicating that he hadn't dried it after the shower. And the glimpses of skin that was showing were pink indicating a very hot shower.

"Hi." Gemini said as he passed Fourth leaving behind once again that woodsy and citrus scent to assault Fourth's olfactory senses.

"Hi." Fourth replied, and watched as Gemini's throat move with every swallow and had to force himself to look away. His skin felt too tight and his stomach was in knots.