loving you can make Jesus cry

guilt

Hebrews 10:22 "let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. Our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water."

After they shared their second kiss, him and Gemini kissed all the time. Well, not all the time because they still had to eat, breathe, attend classes, and shower. Gemini had suggested they shower together, but Fourth had been honest with himself that he would not be able to handle a naked, wet, and skin flushed pink Gemini. His brain would simply just stop functioning and be left dumb.

He thinks he is happy. Being with Gemini made him happy. Gemini was so funny, intelligent, and absolutely ridiculous. Not a moment spent with Gemini was boring. Gemini had a way to make him laugh, to make him smile and to male him feel cared for. Gemini made him feel safe and accepted. No one has ever made him feel that way, not even his parents. His older brother once did, but he had left him.

He wasn't completely happy, though. He was avoiding his parents. He felt like if he spoke to his parents on the phone longer than necessary, they would know what he was doing with Gemini. That his father would tell him how disappointed he was with him. That his father would denounce him and ban him from seeing his mother and his little sister. He didn't want to lose his family.

And the other thing was he couldn't pray anymore. He couldn't speak to God while he was actively sinning against him, and the thing was Fourth didn't feel repentant. He couldn't see what was so bad, what was so evil about his feelings for Gemini. Gemini, who was a good person and always helped those in need. Gemini, whose smile was brighter than the sunrise. Gemini, who was kind and caring. Gemini, who was the embodiment of love.

How could loving someone like that be wrong? What was so wrong about it? So Fourth just didn't pray anymore. He couldn't do it. It felt like he was lying to God in a way. And since he was already being sexually immoral, he didn't feel like adding lying to the ever growing list of his sins.

"You are not being sexually immoral, though. We are not sexually active." Gemini had told him.

"I know, but you know even just thinking about it is like a sin. It's called lust." Fourth had said in response.

"Oh?" Gemini had said, grinning mischievously, "you think of having sex with me?"

"No! Nope! We are not having this conversation." Fourth had protested, standing from the couch only to be pulled by his wrist and ended up on Gemini's lap. Gemini's arms circled around his waist.

"You can't just say you think about having sex with me and not let me be curious, baby." Gemini had said, the term of endearment making Fourth's heart want to jump out of the confinement of the ribcage while skipping several beats.

"I am not having this conversation with you." Fourth had said making Gemini pout. He looked so ridiculously adorable that Fourth had to kiss him.

When Fourth pulled away from the kiss, Gemini let out a whine following his lips to continue with the kiss.

"No more kisses. I need to get started with dinner, and we actually have to study." Fourth told him.

"But baby!" Gemini whined.

"Don't baby me, you have an assignment that's due in 3 days." Fourth said.

"Exactly! That's 3 days away." Gemini retorted.

"If you are good and get started with your assignment, I'll give you a reward." Fourth told him.

"Oh?" Gemini perked up, "and what will my reward be if I am good?"