I don't understand why my future is so scary to me. Is it because I have no Idea what I want to do? I think that's one factor... Or maybe it's because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents. Well, my mom at least.. I think that is the biggest factors of all.
I'm scared to do something that I want to do because I want to do open minded things... but everything is so... narrow. The world isn't just math and science, it's art, it's fun, it's music and it's passion for everything. I might have daltonism but I know it's not all black and white.
What beauty would the world have if everyone was exact and accurate and were too scared to do what they loved... What if there was no Nirvana in the world? The grunge bands, or a Romero Britto... they world wound't be round, it'd probably be a square, that way we would be able to know our exact area and diameter and laterals and all this bullshit that is not needed for most.
I want to act. That's what I want. But I am so fucking scared of this narrow minded world. That I will starve because I will be unappreciated at my job.
I have decided it's what I want to do. It's what I'll do.
