The reason
I'm not perfect. I am jaded and a freak show. You're the reason why I am this way. You are the reason why I am scared, why I don't get along, why I hate you and why your relationship with my mom is so bad.
Thanks step dad.
Possessiveness doesn't go along. You don't own me in any way. You pay my bills because you made the choice to marry my mom. I didn't come in to your house when I was four years old begging you to "take care of me". I didn't ask you to be punished whenever I did something bad, or when I left the toothpaste opened.
I didn't ask to be so scared that whenever you come near me, I start shaking. I didn't ask for all the bruises you left on me when I did something wrong. Or left my bag or a toy in the living room, or didn't shower, or had a friend over, or when I went to a friend's house, or when I cried when you called me by those horrible names when I was seven, or when I forgot to do my homework.
Then you asked me why I lied. Wasn't it obvious? Why say the truth and get punished? You told me that if I told the truth I wouldn't get punished. YOU told me that. Well, you're a hypocrite. You lied too.
Not only to me, to my mom too.
You deserve way worst than you get.
I am grateful for all the things you've done. I am so grateful that I don't even speak to you, because if I did, you wouldn't be happy.
I wish my mom would just open her eyes to see the monster that you really are. You think you know everything. You don't. You don't know my favorite color, you don't know my favorite song, you don't know what I am going through at school. You just don't know.
Why make an effort to change. You aren't going to. Quit it now please.
2 more years. 2 more years until I don't have to see you anymore. Until I can leave and live. Until I can be happy. 2 more years until I can start too feel guilty about leaving my mom and my brother with you. 2 more years until I can start feeling like a dramatic bitch.
You're bittersweet. That only makes you worst.
Asshole.
