Once upon a time, in a world that made no sense yet somehow functioned, chaos reigned supreme.
Romilly, a quiet but oddly wise individual, woke up one morning to discover that people had begun treating her as if she were, well... Jesus. No explanation, no divine moment—just instant Jesus status. Crowds followed her, begging for miracles, and she mostly just nodded awkwardly, handing out stale bread rolls she'd found in her kitchen. "Peace be with you, I guess," she said while dodging a selfie with a guy dressed as a giant hot dog.
Meanwhile, Lewis, once an aspiring astrophysicist, had given up on space entirely after realizing how much math was involved. "I'll fly... but lower," he said, somehow ending up as a flight attendant. He thrived in his new career, mastering the art of passive-aggressive drink service. "Oh, you wanted ginger ale? Let me see if we have that. We don't." His snark became legendary among frequent flyers.
Iris—sorry, Iwis—was having a rough go of it. She'd legally changed her name after hearing about how unique it sounded, but it turned out most people just thought it was a typo. To cope, she started making increasingly questionable decisions: dating someone who claimed to be a vampire, investing all her money in NFT collectibles of sad frogs, and eating gas station sushi daily. Each choice was worse than the last.
And then there was Neko. Bold and ambitious, Neko announced a run for president with the slogan, "Vote for Neko: What's the Worst That Could Happen?" It turned out that the worst was pretty bad. During a chaotic rally, Neko accidentally knocked over a very large, very wobbly stage light, which crushed an intern handing out free campaign stickers. "That's going to hurt my numbers," Neko muttered, unfazed, before continuing their speech.
In the end, Romilly shrugged off her accidental sainthood, Lewis upgraded to first-class-only routes, Iwis decided to open a juice stand in Antarctica, and Neko somehow still won the election with the slogan updated to: "Oops: It Wasn't My Fault."
And that, my friend, is the story of how this bizarre group managed to upend the world—and themselves—without ever intending to.
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chaos theory: instant jesus status
Humorinvolves a manic, chaotic president, a robot, and a hippie who essentially made healing snow and put crystals in smoothies, and bird jesus.
