Lighthearted♡

＊Numbing Snow＊

(Gina's P.O.V.)

Years have passed, and my twins are now sixteen years old. Life isn't exactly easy for us but, yet again, life doesn't favor anyone at all so no one in this world has an easy life.

It's hard to raise a child who has a rare condition that no one can really understand. I mean, how do explain to a five year old that he is different from everyone else because, he can't feel the pain that everyone else is exposed to?

How do you explain that sort of thing to Jai's brothers, at ages 4 and 6, when they asked why Jai didn't scream in pain when a toy car hit his eye while they were playing? How do you explain to Jai's teachers that the reason why he didn't cry when he tumbled down the stairs at school, was because he didn't feel a thing?

How do you tell a little boy, so young and curious, what snow feels like? His brothers used to giggle as they built snowmen, while Jai would simply hold the snow in his hands for as long as possible to try and figure what he felt. He would hold the snow until it melted in his hands, and then he would run through the falling snow in his little snow boots to try and catch more snowflakes.
Jai never understood what snow was because, he couldn't feel it's extreme temperature. So, every year when it snowed, he would always argue with the rule that he had to wear a gloves whenever he went outside.

Eventually, year after year, snow became less interesting to Jai. After all, if you couldn't feel it, why would you care about it?

Today, it so happened to be a snow day in the little city we lived in. Even at ages 16 and 18, my boys were up early and starting outside at the snowflakes that fell from the sky and painted the streets. I was currently making breakfast for the boys, and I couldn't help but smile at their childish behavior. Beau and Luke were pulling on their heavy coats and hats, while Jai simply continued to stare out a window. He looked as if he had no intention to get dressed like his brothers were in order to go outside. He wasn't as excited as his brothers.

"Mum we're going outside alright? Luke thinks he can beat me at a snowball fight but, I'm about to prove him wrong." Beau stated before opening the front door and heading outside.

Moments later, I heard laughter from outside. Beau and Luke were having the time of their lives and creating sweet memories outside in the snow, while Jai sat inside and only watched.

"Why don't you go join them sweetie?" I asked him. He shrugged then said,

"Apparently the fun behind a snow ball fight is that cold feeling you get when you get hit. It's supposed to make you shiver as you build a fort to hide behind, and you're supposed to feel how cold the snowball is in your hands. If I can't feel any of that, then is it really fun for me mum?"

I didn't know what to say. It hurt my heart to know that he no longer cared about what everyone else cherished. Beau and Luke make their favorite memories together by running around in the cold snow on winter mornings but, my Jai has no desire to ever create anything like that.

"Well why don't you just give it a try huh? You can go and try to have some fun with your brothers yeah?" I encouraged and then handed him a coat and hat. He sighed, and then hesitantly took the clothing from my hands.

He slipped on the coat I gave him, pulled the hat tightly to his head, and then he put on some shoes before making his way outside. He walked over to his brothers, and I watched as he stared blankly at the snow falling on the ground. Beau and Luke began talking to him, and Beau even handed Jai a handful of snow. Jai continued to have a blank stare on his face, but before I could comprehend what was happening, Jai was pulling his hat off his head, and furiously throwing his jacket onto the snow covered ground. He looked upset, and I was about to go outside to see what was going on but, before I could make it out the door, Jai had already ran inside and up to his room.

I could hear his door slam shut, and I sighed in defeat. I was so close to seeing him happy and enjoying himself, but as quickly as paper can slice skin, he was upset and locking himself away in his room again.

He does that often nowadays. He doesn't let anyone in, he doesn't eat anything for hours, and he doesn't come out for the longest time. It worries me, but the more I try to force my way into his head, I feel like he pushes me away even further.

Beau and Luke soon walked in, and they held sad expressions on their faces.

"He said he felt numb." Beau told me.

"He's numb, yet he feels the worst type of pain." Luke solemnly said and looked down at the ground.

"He's lighthearted remember boys? He'll be alright." I tried to lighten the mood and remind everyone of the hope we couldn't let go of.

"Is he really though?" Luke asked before heading to his room.

I didn't have the answer to his question.

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Thoughts? Pretty please?

Ily all!!♥︎