It's Time

Win or Lose

Freen's POV

I went home to take a quick shower and check on my mom.

"Let's have dinner together."

She said when she heard me walk, no, almost run down the stairs. I stopped on my tracks and saw her sitting at the dining table all alone in front of what looks like an array of home cooked meals.

I felt a pang of guilt seeing her there. All alone. It made me wish that my sister was still here with us. She's the good one and I, the bad.

I walked towards the dining table and Sat across my mom. I gave her a small smile before looking at the food in front of me.

She cooked all of my sister's favorite dishes. It reminded me of date.

"I hope you did not tire yourself too much while preparing all these foods."

I said while helping myself with a portion of her papaya salad. She just smiled sadly at me.

"It's your sister's birthday."

She said. A lump formed inside my throat. I managed a small smile before taking a bit of my food. It taste just like how remembered it.

A sudden wave of nostalgia hit me.

The memory of my mom, dad and my sister eating together came like wildfire.

Five years and it still haunts us both.

"This is good. You've outdone yourself."

I said changing the subject. She smiled a little before nodding. She took a bite from her food before looking at me.

"You're leaving again?"

She asked. I swallowed before answering her question.

"I- I got the sponsorship. I signed the contract yesterday. Nam felt like we should celebrate."

I said honestly. She just smiled at me but that smile never reached her eyes. She doesn't like my fascination with racing. She hates it but I can see that she's trying to support me in whatever way she can.

"Congratulations."

She said shortly. I just nodded. I wanted to tell her that I am doing this for her. For us. But I can't because I know she will not understand it.

We finished dinner in silence and I volunteered to clean up after. She just watched me do the dishes while she's drinking her tea.

"Your dad would be so proud of you."

She said. I felt my eyes burn like tears are about to flow but I managed to stop them from falling. My dad was my number 1 fan.

From the moment I first rode my first bike, he knew that I am destined to be something.

I just hope he can see me now.

I kissed my mom good night before heading out. Suddenly the night air feels lonely rather than freeing.

Suddenly the ride was less exciting and a lot more... sad.

I can hear the blaring music coming from Nam's house even from a fee blocks away. I parked my bike infront of the house and walked towards the garage where atleast a dozen of people are happily drinking.

"There she is! I thought you stood us all up."

Nam greeted me when she saw me. She walked towards me and handed me a bottle of beer before ushering me inside.