𝒯𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈

𝐹𝒾𝒻𝓉𝓎 𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉

𝒢𝓇𝑒𝓎𝓈𝑜𝓃'𝓈 𝒫𝒪𝒱:

To say I'm upset is an understatement. I would say I'm depressed. Well maybe that's a little over dramatic, but it feels as though my heart has been ripped out of my chest, torn in half, thrown on the grown, stomped on and shoved back in my chest, completely broken.

Can you die from a broken heart?

Maybe.

I hope not because if I do then I'll never be able to see her again.

Even though the 'her' doesn't want me anymore.

She broke up with me.

I've barely eaten this past week and I haven't slept for god knows how long. I know I'm not the only one though. Ol pretends she's fine, sleeping fine, eating fine and she's okay with this whole breaking up thing. But she's not. I can tell and neither am I.

My mind just keeps drifting off to that night, telling me I should've done more than I did, noticed something was wrong after the day we went to my family home.

Speaking of, after that day my dad was acting weird by the way.

Happier than usual, exited too. Something which he never ever does as he never shows any emotion at all other than anger.

It keeps me awake at night, going through all the memories we have together, and it pains me to realise that I should've done things different. How I should've confronted her when I noticed she was acting distant and upset.

I've lost a lot of people in my life but the only person I've cried about as much as I have, is Ol.

I'm not letting this be the end of us. There's no way in hell I'm letting her walk away from us with the worst explanation ever. When she first said it, I was too shocked and upset to process her excuse.

But now I'm thinking about it in replay, it doesn't make any sense. I know there's a deeper meaning and reasoning behind this. I'm going to get to the bottom of it.

If she really wants to walk away from us then she can. Because after all she did say there's no feelings there but I know it's bullshit. I know she felt the same thing I did.

Unless she was just toying around with my feelings, there's not a good enough reason for breaking up with me.

I'll be honest, it has been awkward and I know it isn't just between me and Ol. It's between everyone else.

When she's in her room, I leave mine. When I'm in my room or at my family home, she leaves her room.

It's not a normal dinner now, it either consists of me and her brothers and Sasha or her, Sasha and her brothers. And I'll be honest, it's tearing me apart not seeing her.

That's why I'm currently sat at the dinner table waiting for her to come down. She has to at some point right? She can't just die of starvation or dehydration just to not see me.

After about two hours, I hear the soft steps descending down the stairs. Straight away I know it's her.

She walks in the kitchen and completely ignores my existence.

I walk up beside her and put my empty glass in the sink and I see her shoulders tense.

She still continues to ignore my existence.

"Come on Ol. You're killing me." My voice breaks.

She doesn't reply.

"Please. We can't keep going on like this. Please just tell me why at least." I beg.