The Teacher

CH 30: WREN

"You aren't seriously considering leaving the school now, are you?" Yijun props herself against my headboard. "So what if you're fucking her baby daddy? It's none of her business. She had her chance with him, and she blew it. Him fucking you is not stopping him from being a father to his daughters. Listen, people co-parent every day, that's nothing new. People get married, have kids, and then fall out of love and remarry other people—that's nothing new. You can't let someone who is jealous of you control your life, Wren." Yijun's eyeswere  blazing with the fiery conviction of a loyal friend trying to empower another. 

I sit on the edge of my bed, hands knotted in my lap.

"But—"

"No, buts. It's been two days, and you haven't called him back. The man is trying to reach out to you. He's worried about you, and honestly, he sounded so hurt in that voicemail." I know exactly what voicemail she is referring to because I listened to it probably over ten times.

He is in Berlin right now on business, and I think this is the best time to figure out what I want to do next without having him around me to cloud my judgment. I can just resign from teaching, find another job, and go backpacking through Europe. I have nothing or no one holding me back. The house is paid off, so I don't have to worry about paying any mortgage.

Taking a backpacking trip through Europe may provide the break and refreshment I crave. It could serve as an opportunity for me to reconnect with my true self, free from the complications of messy bedsheets and the lingering scent of crayons.

"You have that look in your eyes. What are you thinking about?" Yiji eyes me suspiciously.

I exhale deeply. "I'm thinking maybe I should go backpacking through Europe."

"No. No. You can not keep running from your problems. He probably doesn't even know why you aren't talking to him. I'm sure the bitter baby momma from hell didn't tell him she contacted you." Her voice holds more frustration than concern, and I can't blame her. She has watched me dodge and weave through emotional confrontations more times than we care to count.

Yet, the idea of facing him, explaining why I'd suddenly gone silent after just promising to have dinner with him. He might just give up on whatever the hell this is. He has children he needs to worry about, not some fuck-buddy who can't keep her feelings in check.

"I don't know, Yiyi," I murmur, feeling my chest tightening. "What if he doesn't believe me? What if he thinks I'm just causing drama? He probably might think I'm trying to kick his daughters' mother out of the picture."

She scoots closer on the bed. "Wren," she starts, "You can't control what he thinks. But you owe it to yourself and him to be honest about what's going on. Imagine how much it must hurt him not knowing why you've pulled away."

She is right, of course. Honesty might be painful, but silence was cruel in its own insidious way.

"She's the mother of his daughters. She must feel threatened by my presence. Summer is fighting for her family. And I should step aside and allow that to happen. You know, when my mother left, and the emotional scars it left on me. I would never want that to happen to his daughters." I say with a heavy heart. The weight of my past suffocates me every time I think about this situation I've got myself tangled up in.

"You have a big heart, Wren," Yiyi whispers. "But stepping aside doesn't always mean giving up. It means understanding your place and finding out where you belong with him and his daughters."

"All we did was have sex. I don't think it warrants an explanation of why I ghosted him. I just want him to forget about me and focus on his family." I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling as if it holds answers. Yiyi sighs, a sound heavy with unspoken words, and after a moment, she stands, pacing the room.