The Teacher

CH 31: WREN

I sink back against the cushions, drawing in a long, shaky breath. The fire Skylar ignited still simmers in my veins, even as my mind reels. Marriage? Me, a wife? A stepmother? The notions seem as foreign as another language. I've never let myself entertain such ideas after Richard cheated on me. Sex with Skylar has and should only ever be about passion and escape. But the raw emotion in his eyes tonight—is real and terrifying.

Skylar moves closer to me, but I shake my head, gripping the throw blanket over my naked body tighter.

"I didn't mean to spring it on you like this. I was in the heat of the moment, but I mean it. I want to marry you. I don't want to lose you."

"And you don't think this—you asking me to marry you won't make me walk away. We don't know each other. We only have sex, Skylar. What you feel for me is just physical attraction. Not love," I finish, my voice barely a whisper as uncertainty creeps into the corners of my heart.

Skylar's hand reaches out tentatively to brush a lone tear from my face. "I'm not asking for a sudden leap into forever. I'm asking for a chance to prove that what I feel goes beyond the physical. I don't want to date you because I know I want you as my wife. So, there is no need to prolong it."

I've kept it hidden and will continue to keep it hidden. I won't let him or anyone know that I have already halfway fallen for him because there will always be doubt. How could something that began in the shadows of desire evolve into the glaring light of day-to-day life?

"You are an amazing father despite your hectic schedule. But where would I fit into that life? As what? A distraction? A weekend affair turned wife?"

He leans forward, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "You think I haven't considered that? You're not a distraction to me—nor escape. Your part of the life I'm desperately trying to create a life that I need."

I stare into Skylar's piercing blue eyes, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. I force myself to speak the words that will destroy us both.

"I'm not cut out to be a mother," I whisper, more to myself than to him. "I wouldn't know how."

"What are you talking about? The girls adore you," Skylar says.

I laugh bitterly. "Because I'm their teacher. But a mother? I... I don't know if I have it in me."

My mother's absence has left a permanent scar on my heart, a constant reminder of the love I never received. How could I possibly be a good mother when I had never been shown how? How can I nurture when I was denied nurture myself? The fear of failing those sweet girls, of somehow damaging them like I was damaged, is overwhelming. Let's call it what it truly is... I'm damaged goods.

Skylar's expression softens, his eyes searching my face as if trying to unravel the complexities of my fear. He gently cups my cheek, his thumb wiping away more tears that have escaped.

"You're underestimating yourself," he says softly. "You've been nurturing not only their minds but their spirits in the way you interact with them. They light up around you—haven't you seen it? All your students, not just my daughters. You have a motherly instinct, and I'm not saying this because I want to marry."

I shake my head, a sad smile playing on my lips. It's easier to dismiss his observations than to admit the depth of my affection for his daughters and him.

"If you don't want me and what we could be, I will walk out this door and never return. But I want you to know that whoever comes into your life next—you are always worthy of loving them and being loved. You're worthy of being a mother, and I know you will be an amazing mother and wife."