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A D I T I

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A D I T I

Age: Twenty Two

I blinked my eyes slowly, licking my dry lips. The lip balm I put on earlier must've washed away after I drank water and had those bitter medicines. My eyes are pinned to the leaves rolling on the ground because of the cold breeze. The street light falling on it made it shine. Three weeks since I woke up, since I realised that this life is useless—I should have died already. My parents should have let me go then but they didn't. They held on to me as if my pathetic life mattered to them.

My hands clenched around the handle of my wheelchair. It's cold and even though I can feel goosebumps covering my body, I don't want to lift the shawl and wear it that fell on the ground around five minutes ago.

I can feel the warmth in this cold breeze. It gives peace, it calms my brain. I lift my eyes from the fallen leaf, looking around and noticing the half a dozen  men dressed in black. It's Papa’s men. They are all standing at a distance–away from me.

Something falls on my lap, capturing my attention as I slowly lift my trembling hands and hold a flower—night Jasmine in my hostage. It's so beautiful and I know it smells divine. I smelled it a few days ago but then—I couldn't. I lost my sense of smell again and the next morning I stopped listening.

Doctor John said to keep patience but only I know how empty it feels but he wasn't wrong I started hearing again not completely but a little.

I feel suffocated in my room, as if the walls will eat me alive, swallow my existence. I can't sleep at night even if that nurse sleeps by my side or mum sleeps beside me. I still feel like a bird trapped in that prison. It must be around 2 at night— half an hour since I am here alone but I didn't want to wake my nurse when all she would do was to stand behind me and look after me as if I was a kid—as if I am not capable of anything.

“You really are not capable of anything, Aditi.”

The voice inside me speaks and I slowly lift the flower bringing it closer to my nose with a hope that maybe god will pity me but I still can't smell it. I still can't remember anything—anyone.

“Aditi, Do you know what happened to you that night before I saw you?”

Which night? They say it was a car accident, right? Then why the heck do they keep on asking me the same question? Are they mocking my condition?

That girl who stands by my side, the girl with blue eyes—she claims to be my elder sister. She must've been mocking my condition. That I don't remember anything, that I can't walk on my own—can’t talk probably without brakes, I can't smell and I can't hear sometimes…she must be mocking me. She is anything but my family.

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