While You're In The World

The Party

Let's dance!
Put on your red shoes and dance the blues
Let's dance!
To the song they're playing on the radio

It was the night of the party, and all of us had permission to leave campus for the weekend. Although on paper, we all had a valid excuse to be gone. Charlie to his Aunt and Uncles, Pitts and Meeks were to be camping with Pitsy's father, Knox was going to be picked up by his parents at the bus station. Cameron insisted though he wouldn't rat on anyone, (due to some mild threatening,) he vowed he would not be breaking any rules for some dumb house party. Neil was, as usual, going home to his parents for the weekend. Though how he managed to actually get out of going home, he wouldn't say. None of these excuses however included the 30 minute bus ride to three towns over, back packs full of cigarettes and alcohol, and a farm house with parents gone for the weekend.

Although big on the outside, the house was quickly growing crowded, a sweaty sea of teenagers spilling into every room. Every window in the house seemed to be open, along with the front door, allowing a steady stream of bodies to come and go. The air was thick, and hazy, full of cigarette smoke, lust, and rock and roll.

I can feel my heartbeat spike the moment I step into the kitchen, though from anxiety, or the steady strum of the bass rattling the window pains, I can't tell.

I can feel Neil's body next to mine, his knuckles grazing my thigh as we get sardined together against the counter. I sneak a glance at him, and he seems just as unsure as I am, his eyes darting over every face. I watch him for a moment more, until his eyes land on mine. They seem to soften slightly, as though temporarily forgetting every other person in the room.

"Nuwandaaaaaa!" I break my gaze away from Neil and turn to see Charlie, standing on a kitchen chair, chugging a red cup as it spills down the sides of his cheeks and down the front of his shirt. I laugh as everyone starts to cheer, and a couple of other teens take their turn chugging their drinks. When I turn back to Neil, is still looking at me.

"I'm sorry I was avoiding you the other day." He shouts over the music. I can barely hear him, so I lean in closer to his right side when I respond.

"Me too." He leans in too until I'm practically shouting in his ear. "But I mean, we're fine right?"

"Yeah, of course Todd." I can feel his breath on my neck, and a wave of heat creeps its way up my spine, spreading through my chest. He pulls back a little bit, so that we're facing each other again, enough that I can barely hear him when he says "I honestly don't know what I'd do if we weren't."

The heat that had been crawling up my back into my chest drops fully into my stomach and settles. Something suddenly looks different in Neil. Whether it's the pleading look in his eyes, or the red flush across his cheeks. Whether it's the fact that I've never noticed the light freckles that dust his nose that only seem to appear since stepping into the dimly lit kitchen.

"You wanna get out of here?"

He smiles, that knowing, Neil Perry smile. I reach behind his back on the counter, into a group of green bottles, grabbing the first one my fingers can settle on. I slide it back towards us, picking it up to get a better look at the label, two friendly nuns in a field looking back at me. Blue Nun.

"Grape juice?" I shrug, and Neil breathes out a laugh, rolling his eyes.

He reaches down and grabs my hand in his, turning away to lead me out of the kitchen. His skin is soft and warm in mine, and I can't help but look around to make sure no one can see it. But it quickly dawns on me that other than the intoxicating feeling of his hand in mine, Neil and I are probably the only people still sober here, and nobody seems to care as we shove our way through the crowd. And when his grip on my hand tightens as we have to slide our way through a narrow doorway, rather than just letting go, I decide that I really don't care either.