Hey, Soul Sister [Lucius/Narcissa]

Chapter Five

Narcissa stared down at her breakfast, picking at a piece of toast that had looked vastly more appealing before she'd taken it onto her plate. She knew she should be focused on the lessons she would be starting today, but try as she might, she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened after the rest of the Prefects had left her and Lucius alone. She'd lain awake mentally screaming at herself for allowing such a lapse in her self-control, and the worst part by far was that she couldn't understand what had come over her. She had been incredibly grateful for his kindness, his willingness to endure her questions about Bellatrix, and his defending her on the train. That was it, wasn't it?

No, said a little voice at the back of her mind. You could've been grateful without kissing him.

She picked up her fork and stabbed a bit of scrambled egg slightly more roughly than necessary before eating the bite, finding herself unimpressed, and deciding she was thoroughly not hungry. Setting her fork down again with a sigh, she resumed picking at her toast and ignoring the eyes she felt watching her from down the table.

All right, fine. Fine, yes, I've thought about doing something like that before. I guess this time I was just too worn down by everything going on to stop myself or, I don't know, think rationally. And now what do I do? Act like it didn't happen?

Narcissa reached for her water glass, more as a pretense for glancing over the Slytherin table than out of thirst. She didn't see him, and as much as she would've liked to have been relieved by this observation, she wasn't. If she could see him, she reasoned, she might gain some indication of how he felt about her... moment of weakness. She highly doubted he would bring it up in conversation.

He's your best friend, for Merlin's sake! Why would you possibly think it was okay to take the chance on driving him away? And like it or not, you're betrothed! What on earth were you thinking?

"Okay, what's with you?"

Narcissa blinked, shaking off her self-berating thoughts and turning her head to face Lenore, who sat to her left holding a half-eaten bagel and watching Narcissa with a raised brow.

"Nothing. Why?"

"You've been staring into the distance with your goblet halfway to your mouth for a little too long not to be suspicious," said Lenore, shrugging. "Just wondered."

"I'm just worried about Potions," said Narcissa, setting her glass down. "That's all."

"Right, with your O.W.L.s, I can absolutely see a reason for that." Lenore rolled her eyes. "What's really going on?"

"Nothing, Lenny. I'm fine. Drop it, please."

Lenore sighed. "Whatever you say." She raised her bagel to her mouth and took a bite, and Narcissa caught sight of the silver wolf that dominated the back of the other girl's right hand.

"What was it like, when that showed up?" Narcissa asked. She immediately regretted the question; she'd found herself thinking too often lately about soulmates and finding a relationship that meant something as opposed to the one she appeared to be heading toward, and she knew that dwelling on an outcome that she wouldn't have the opportunity to seek would hurt her far more than it would help. Still, she couldn't shake a certain level of morbid curiosity.

Lenore finished her bite of bagel and nodded to her hand. "Walden's patronus?"

"Yes."

"Well, it was just sort of... there, one morning when I woke up. It hadn't been when I went to sleep. I didn't feel any different; it didn't hurt or anything like that. I wouldn't have realized it was there if I hadn't been able to see it."