Hey, Soul Sister [Lucius/Narcissa]

Chapter Nineteen

Narcissa wandered through the corridors of the first floor for half an hour or so, working to occupy herself until she believed Alecto would be finished with what she'd been doing and, hopefully, gone from the dungeons. It probably hadn't been the best idea to strike someone who had a reputation among her housemates for being particularly vicious, but Narcissa could take care of herself, if Alecto attempted to fight back. She hoped.

Eventually, she recalled that several of her professors had taken advantage of the first week of lessons and had already given out assignments. With a sigh, Narcissa returned to the stairs and the dungeons, and she made her way to the Common Room. A group of young Slytherins was standing clustered around a pair playing Wizard's Chess, and several people were spread throughout the room working on assignments or chatting. Narcissa had almost reached the other side of the room on her way to her dormitory when she recognized the figure sitting alone in a chair beside the wall.

He's back already? That doesn't seem like a good sign. Frowning, she abandoned her course and started toward Lucius, who was staring at the wall on the opposite side of the room as though it had offended him on a deeply personal level. He appeared not to notice when she paused at his side, and she reached out to rest a hand on his arm. At the touch, he blinked, looking in her direction at last, and his expression softened.

"Have you been there for long?" he asked. "I'm sorry, I'm a bit... distracted."

Narcissa shook her head. "What's wrong? Weren't you called away?"

Lucius shrugged noncommittally and glanced at the other students filling the Common Room. "It's complicated."

Narcissa nodded and took his hand. "Come on. Let's go somewhere else."

Lucius hesitated, and as Narcissa watched his face, she believed she detected something that looked like pain hiding behind the mask of indifference he'd put on upon taking notice of the other students. After a moment, he stood, and she led him from the Common Room and through the dungeon corridors to her dormitory. She let out a sigh as she surveyed the room, grateful that the other girls were gone. She supposed they were out enjoying their Saturday—she knew them well enough to doubt that anyone except perhaps Johanna would even consider focusing on schoolwork—and while Narcissa would've like to return to the castle's grounds, it would've only been to resume sitting beside the lake with Lucius, so she saw no reason to be anywhere but here. She sat down at the edge of her bed and patted the space beside her. He glanced to the spot and then back to her face, and after a brief pause, he sat.

The room was silent for several seconds. Narcissa knew Lucius well enough to see that something had gone very wrong. He was rarely quiet without reason, and his mind still seemed to be elsewhere.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. "You don't have to, but if it would help, I'll listen. I know you can't say much about what you were called away for, but whatever you can tell me to get something off your chest, I mean."

He stared out across the room for a moment longer and then turned to face her. His expression was still guarded, but she could see the sadness in his eyes.

"As it turns out," Lucius began, "it wasn't a mission he wanted me for, or anything like that."

Narcissa frowned. "Then what was it?"

"A test."

She let out a short, humorless laugh. "A test? What, to see if you'd find a way to get to him?"

"Essentially." Lucius sighed. "To see if I was loyal enough to impress him, which I suppose I managed to do, so that's... something, at least."

"It is. Though I'd imagine that's not what's bothering you, is it?"

Lucius shook his head, looking away once again. He directed his focus to the pair of black dress shoes lying on the floor between Narcissa's bed and her desk.

"He wanted to test my loyalty because, apparently, I'm going to have to step up within our ranks in the near future."

"What do you mean?" asked Narcissa, squeezing his hand. She wished he would look at her. "How can he expect you to do more, while you're at school?"

"I don't know, Narcissa," said Lucius flatly. "I really wish I did. But the reason for all this is that my father is ill, which he decided not to tell me until it became relevant enough for it to be brought to my attention by the Dark Lord grooming me to take his place."

Lucius's voice grew steadily angrier as he spoke, and when he'd finished, Narcissa realized how heavy his breathing had become. She stared at him as she tried to process everything that he'd said. Abraxas was ill, and Narcissa couldn't imagine someone worse to be involved in the bearing of bad news than the Dark Lord, who presumably didn't care for the Malfoy patriarch's well-being but only for the void that would be left in the ranks of the Death Eaters if something were to happen to him. The fact that Lucius had been called away to receive this news could only have added to his stress; Narcissa wasn't certain where he had gone to speak with the Dark Lord or how he'd traveled there, and at the moment, she didn't believe it wise to ask. Instead, she held more tightly to his hand, which was cold within her own, and watched him with an unconcealed blend of sympathy and worry.

"I'm so sorry," she breathed. "Letting you find out that way was completely unfair."

"Many things are unfair." At last, Lucius turned his head to face Narcissa, and she saw that any effort he'd been putting forth to conceal his sadness had been abandoned. "We've been here a week and it already seems that the world's falling apart around us, doesn't it? My father, the Dark Lord pulling me away just because he can, the fact that according to your parents, you're still technically supposed to marry Rowle..."

"I haven't told them, yet, but I will," said Narcissa. "They can complain all they want about my refusal to listen to them, but they can't complain about you. I know they arranged my betrothal to Thorfinn as the latest way to try to control me, but the reason they claimed is that they don't want me disgracing the family. There's no way they can claim that I would be by being with you."

"I don't know about that," Lucius muttered. Narcissa frowned and opened her mouth to argue the point, but he continued speaking before she could form the words. "Anyway, I'm sorry. I'd wanted today to be peaceful and look where I got us."

Narcissa raised a brow. "Where, my room? Stop that." She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Lucius and resting her head against his chest as his arms wound around her. "Stop blaming yourself. You didn't choose any of this, and I want you to remember that I know that."

She felt him sigh and then felt the brush of his fingers in her hair. "You're too good to me," he said.

"No, I'm not." Narcissa closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the peace and comfort of Lucius's embrace. Three more words burned on the tip of her tongue, and she considered holding them back. She didn't know whether it was time to say them; she'd never been in a relationship she'd actually wanted to be in prior to him, and neither of her sisters was the best example to follow, in this instance. But given the fact that she knew beyond doubt that the man beside her was her soulmate, Narcissa felt no shame in letting the words out into the air, and she only hoped that he would handle them well. "I love you," she said quietly.

His hand froze in her hair, and she opened her eyes, staring at the next bed over in the silence that followed.

"I love you, too."

She closed her eyes once again with a soft smile as the movement of his hand resumed, and her arms tightened around him. Perhaps he was right, and the world was falling apart around them, but at least neither of them would have to go through it alone.