She's little

chapter 38

"please please please." i say begging Taylor to come with me.
"i don't think its a good idea dianna. its not the same anymore, your not 15 with a shitty street rat life anymore. you have a stable relationship-"

"thats not confirmed." i cut her off "you cant do it anymore dee. you haven't been to a party in ages, your dressing like a normal person, these types of parties can ruin stuff like that." she tells me as we walk.

"don't be dramatic Taylor" i tell her rolling my eyes.
she was making this a much bigger thing, i was just a party, nothing special was going to happen.

"fine ill come but i swear to god i will kill you if anything happens."
and thats how we ended up at the front door of my grate friend Toby's house party

"oh god. how far back in your wardrobe to find that getup?" she says looking me up and down.

"don't be so judgmental." i say pouting my bottom lip as i push open the door.

i stand in front of the door that leads into the loud music and people. I can hear people inside, and I'm a bit nervous.

i feel Taylor behind me, willing me to hurry up and walk in.

and it's crazy, people are everywhere.
I look around, seeing everyone, dancing, talking, and drinking. I feel the music vibrating the floor, and the smell of alcohol. I take a deep breath, and try to look for anyone i know.

Music fills the room, and everyone is talking loud enough for me to hear the words that they are saying, most of them just making weird noises though. I look around, and see some people sitting on the couch, drinking and talking with others.

"ah there she is. my favourite party lady." toby says as he walks into the massive room and towards me, clearly drunk, i can tell by the way he staggered as he walked or how he flung his arms out to me lazily that he has been drinking for a while.  

i laugh, and give him a hug, and I smell the alcohol on his breath.

"How have you been?"
He asks, his voice slurring slightly.
"better. toby! toby whats in the cup?" i ask.
whatever he's drinking i want it too

"oh well you see darling.. its my own special blend of vodka- right? then a tiny bit of coke, pop in an LSD pill add more coke... and wall-a!" he tells me, leaning in real close like if was a giant secret, slurring his words like a mad man and adding a British accent.

I look at him, then down at his cup, watching the off brown liquid swirl in the plastic cup, a bit concerned.
"That doesn't sound good for your liver toby." I say, only half joking before looking back up at him, but I also feel curious.
"Could you make me one?"

"Dianna-" i hear Taylor behind me, calling my name.
"yea." i say barely looking over my shoulder at her.
"don't be stupid." i know what shes telling me but she's overthinking it.

i look at her.
"Why? I'm just having a drink with my friend."
looking back at toby He holds out his cup.

"Don't think of it as acid, think of it as a fun, wild experience."
He says, trying to convince me.

fuck it.
i take the cup, taking a long breath before downing half the cup.
Taylor looked at me in horror, while toby watched me with a shit eating grin.

I down most of it, and I feel it burn the inside of my throat. I cough a little, and look at toby giggling a little when i say "That's strong as hell..."

immediately toby lets put a loud yell at the party gaining some cheers as i take another swig.

I look around nervously, the music sounding a bit louder, and the smell of alcohol in the air seems stronger.
"Toby, I think I'm a bit light headed."
I say, swaying a little as i take a few steps forward into toby, who catches me in a light hug.

"shh its just the effect, eas into it, its all good." i hear him whisper in my ear was his hand strokes the back of my head that slumped lazily against his chest.

I nod, my eyes closed.
I feel comfortable.
I feel good.
"Yeah... I feel good." i say, smiling. I open my eyes and look at the people that are dancing and talking around us.

i feel toby push me off him slightly "yea go have fun.." he says, throwing me into the large group of people dancing and screaming.

I stumble a bit, and try to grab on to someone to prevent myself from falling over. I end up bumping into a guy. I look up at him, and my face turns red.
"Oh...uhm sorry." I says slurring my words as i turn round to dance.
I can smell the alcohol in the air, and I'm starting to feel more excited.

i feel on fire.
I look around, and see toby dancing with a girl, and Taylor is talking to some guy.

i continue to dance, my hands moving with my motions, and my hair swaying. I hear the music louder now, and it makes me feel a little dizzy.
I'm laughing, and having a good time.

My body feels like it's on fire, and I'm sweating as my body heats up.

i look around again, and see toby and the girl have moved closer, and Taylor seems to be having a good conversation with the guy she's talking to.

my hands traveled my body as i swayed away eventually pulling my jacket off, irritated by the unbearable heat.
i hear a few whistles around me by i pay no mind, continuing to move to the beat of the music.

I feel the alcohol coursing through my veins, and my body doesn't feel like my own anymore. I don't even know what's happening around me; the music is blurring together with the voices around me. I just dance along to the music, not caring about anything.
it makes me wonder why i ever stopped coming to these things, i can never get enough of the buzz, no amount of care from James gives me this much life.

i feel amazing.
because i don't feel anything, just the heat around me, everything else is melting.

The music seems to be getting louder and louder. I can feel the bass in my bones, and my heart thumping in my chest. The heat is starting to get unbearable.

I can feel the sweat dripping down my body, and I can taste the salt in my mouth. But I don't care, I just want to keep on dancing. The alcohol has taken over my body, and I'm feeling more and more euphoric.

but slowly, the heat felt like it was melting everything around me, like the scene from willy wonka, where the massive chocolate house came melting down.

i didn't even feel myself hit the floor.
maybe i didn't hit the floor, i just remember it going black.

"Anna.. what have you done to yourself.."