POTION OF LOVE

20. 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬

“So you did cry”

I sigh, shaking my head “I don't know. Maybe or maybe not? I kinda blacked out, as much as I could move and talk I do not recall it well” I reply, finally looking up to meet Allison's gaze. She looks at me with her usual mild expression as she hears and notes the incident down

“but you said your eyes were moist and you could feel the tears slip” she questions. Allison has been my therapist since Dad's death he was her mentor for a while too and we have known each other for long

Among everyone in my family, she is the only one who knows the actual traumatic incidents in my life that make it hard to express my feelings. Especially crying and when I suddenly sobbed silently while holding Jasmine, it gave me a sense of relief to let it out

But I don't remember that moment much

“I did, for a minute maybe and calmed down. The afterwards is vividly blurry but Jasmine helped me to the locker room and gave me water. After a few minutes, I met my team and family again” I explain, my tone hesitant due to the lack of clarity

I was fine when I came back to receive the trophy and met others. Mostly because I tried not to remember their faces and why they suddenly appeared after years. Luckily they left by that time and I didn't see them again

“Are you sure you saw them, Lucas? Was it your uncle?” she asks again, her voice cautious and expression holding a seriousness. A cold feeling washes over me at my uncle's mention, an indescribable meaning that I meant to leave behind

“I know it's him, I wouldn't forget his face even if I wanted to” I reply, I wouldn't forget him or her, no matter how hard I try to.

Allison sighs softly and leans back on her chair. The room falls into a peaceful silence. Her cabin which I have been visiting for years has become a room of secrets.

I know this whole thing is her profession, to listen and help but at least here my words are kept private due to the strict policies

“And now you don't wanna talk about them or this incident?” She asks, catching up on my behalf. I nod in response, there's not much to explain here and she won't push it “All right but it's good to see you like this”

Her words make my head shoot up and look at her confused. Allison passes me a smile “You were able to cry properly without any fears of judgement and everything that holds you back. In the past two years, this is good” she says, letting the words sink in before speaking again “It's okay to cry and express Lucas, especially when you are in pain. Crying is not a weakness” she reminds

The words she has been repeating to me whenever I couldn't get past my doubts

“yeah…I felt good too” I replied with a sigh of relief and straightened up on my seat. I look at her waiting for a reaction or a question but she is just smiling which increases my suspicion