POTION OF LOVE

34. 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧

[the chapter is unedited, pls skip the mistakes. I will edit it soon. Happy reading<3]

The house has never felt this silent, maybe because it's been a while since I have been in my room or because no one is in the house except Lucas and me. Even he is downstairs in the guest room, since lunch he hasn't come out.

It's not his fault, I am avoiding him because I am too embarrassed to face him after he saw my childhood pictures.

I never thought I would be embarrassed about that. Now I feel how he felt.

Maybe I am just insecure, I was really different in my childhood. I do admit I was cute in my baby pictures or during my toddler years but not later on. Looking at my album - I was skinny, dark skinned and had really short hair which made people think I was a boy.

One of the reasons I am always scared to cut my hair. Not to feel that taunts or jokes about me looking like a boy.

It's not easy to forget all those hurtful comments right?

I wonder - how did our own people make us feel inferior for the colour that actually represents us. The brown community yet everyone is behind having fair skin - the absurd beauty standards. It took me a while to accept myself, having this skin honey, the not-so straight hair.

Now, I am happy with my current self. Almost.

It made me question Lucas many times. Why was he so interested in painting me? He could have painted anyone. But he went for me. He said it's to get my culture, immortalize it. His words were so deep that I was left amazed.

Is that all he wanted?

I sigh softly, closing the albums and keeping it aside. The soft hum of the air conditioner is the only sound I could focus on. It's too silent for my liking - I do like silence, the peace but.

My gaze diverts to the open laptop beside me, Veer's engagement party's live being played on it with the volume muted. Veer pulled some strings so the party could be shown to me live but I couldn't focus on it either. I shut down the laptop and pull my knees against my chest.

Surprisingly, Mira isn't even at the party. It's not even an engagement but just a gathering of business partners. Veer guessed it already that Mira wouldn't come. I don't blame her, all of Veer's partners are Mira's rivals.

It looks so boring. I am happy that I didn't go.

The way my mind bounces from one topic to another in the span of a few minutes makes me think that I have at least ten people inside my head.

I could just sit and think about anything and everything.

My eyes move around the room, it's still the same. Ma kept all my stuff as it is, making sure my room is cleaned everyday. This was my comfort place, I could just come here and hide from everything happening outside. Doesn't matter if it's about other matters or about my family.