Runaway's Liberation

Chapter 9

TW: Sexual assault, Violence

It was three years ago...

And I was sixteen.

"Pa, I need to leave."

He turned to me, brows furrowed. I immediately held back. I knew he didn't like what he just heard. But I didn't think much of it. I just had to leave. I don't want to stay here any longer.

"Aino, ngayon lang 'to. Wait a little bit more. I still have to meet some of my friends." Mahinang sabi niya, ngunit may diin.

Tinalikuran niya ako. I watched him leave me with an ocean of strangers around me to go to his "friends." I was left standing in the corner to the left of the hall, holding a glass of water in my hand. The room felt even larger now that I was alone. But with that, it still felt so tight around me. Like I couldn't move. It was like I couldn't breathe.

Humigop ako ng hangin at bumuntong-hininga. Inihilamos ko ang palad sa mukha, na parang magagawa no'ng alisin ang nararamdaman ko. I never liked going to parties and social gatherings, especially those filled with people I don't know. The space felt too enclosed. Ang daming tao. Parang hindi ako makahinga. Everywhere I looked, people were either laughing, talking, or mingling like they belonged. I felt like I didn't.

I badly want to leave. Nadia might be alone in the house right now. I just hope Ma had gone home already.

Pa just had to have me come here with him because he said he was going to introduce me to some of his friends. I already knew what that meant. It wasn't just about introductions. It was more than that. For all I knew, he's just finding someone to match me up with, and the next thing I knew, I'd be engaged. It's all business. I'm aware of it. It always happens.

Hindi ko na maalala kung ilang babae na ang iniharap niya sa'kin. Anak ni ganito, anak ni ganiyan. Then he'd proudly state what kind of family they're from—big names, conglomerates, some even from politics. They were paraded before me like trophies to be chosen from, and I was expected to play along.

Hindi ko 'to gusto. Ayoko nito. I don't know why he's doing this. I don't know why I have to do this. I'm only sixteen... I don't understand why he makes me feel like he's selling me. And if I do know, hinding-hindi ko siguro maiintindihan. Maybe not now.

I took a heavy sigh. I could barely breathe. It was like the walls were closing in and the noise from the crowd gets louder every second. It was overwhelming me. I needed to breathe.

I went out of the hall when I couldn't take it anymore, pushing through the crowd. My feet took me to the garden beside the huge venue. The air outside was cooler, and for a brief moment, I felt some relief. I could still hear the distant chatter and music which were muffled. But it was better.

Bumuga ako ng hangin atsaka humigop ulit. My heart was beating so fast inside my chest. Nahihirapan akong huminga.

I flinched when I felt a hand touched my shoulder at pinisil-pisil iyon. Nagulat ako at agad na dumistansiya. Nilingon ko iyon at nakita ang isang middle aged na lalaki. He was a big man. He has this huge built, and some gray hair showing. He looks well respected. Everyone here look like that.

I quickly felt uncomfortable with his presence even though he's smiling at me. Pa-simple kong iniwas ang balikat ko mula sa kamay niya, hoping he'd take the hint and back off. But he didn't. He stood there, his hand hovering for a second before he dropped it to his side.

"Never seen someone like silence besides me," sabi nito at inilagay ang mga kamay sa magkabilang bulsa. He smiled, showing the thin lines on the side of his lips. "Getting some air?" He added when I didn't respond.