Through Thick and Thin

Pretty Little Purple Mark

Sarah's POV

"Lily... what is this?" I ask while running my fingers over the bright purple mark on her collarbone.
Lilly nervously looks down at where my fingers are resting before gently pushing them away from her.
"I'm sorry." She says softly.
"What happened?" I demand.
"I was stupidly drunk, and I did something that I shouldn't have ever done to you."
"Lily, what did you do?" I ask nervous for her answer.
Did she kiss some girl? Or guy for that matter. Did she have some meaningless sex in the bathroom?
"I made out with a girl."
I let out a breath of air I didn't realize I was holding in.
"Please tell me she came onto you..." I state while rubbing my temples.
She gulps, "I wish I could..."
"Goddamn it Lily! How could you do this?! We're getting fucking married in two weeks and you have a nice, bright purple mark on your fucking collarbone and I wasn't the one who left the mark!" I shout.
"Sarah..." She cries out.
"What?" I ask aggravated.
"I'm sorry, baby. I was stupid and shouldn't have ever done this to you. You don't deserve that- "
"Lily, you tell me you were drunk off your ass, but as soon as you got a hickey you sobered up?"
"Yes! I realized what I was doing and knew it was wrong. I pushed her off of me, because I'm pretty sure she wanted something more than just giving me a hickey."

I take another deep breath and run my fingers through my wavy blonde hair.
"Why didn't you realize that when you started kissing her? Am I not enough for you? Sorry, I can't please my fiancée the way she wants it."
"Sarah, god no. No, you do! You make me feel a certain way that no other person in this whole world could make me feel. I was drunk! Baby, I'm the lightweight." She says trying to smile at me.
"Oh save it. Jesus Christ, I cannot take this. I love you oh so much, I love you more than words can fathom. Never in the slightest would I have done this to you, ever." I say upset stuttering over my words.
"Sarah Catherine Paulson, I love you ever so. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. I was drunk and got caught up in my actions before realizing what the hell I was doing."
She slowly walks over to where I was standing and tries to put her hand on my shoulder.
"Lily Rabe, no." I command while pulling away.
"Why aren't you letting me love you now?" She questions.
"Were you loving me in the bar with that other woman?" I say coldly.
"Yes, I was."
"Alright, you clearly weren't since you kissed her and let her put that on your body." I say pointing to the hickey again.
"Sarah, I was drunk! Seriously, you have had those moments when you're so drunk you have no control over what you're doing."
I laugh at her little remark to try and save her ass.
"Lily, I may get beyond shit faced, but when I do, I know who I'm kissing and who I'm committed to."
"Sar, please listen to me."
"My ears are open, but honestly, what did you expect coming home with a hickey from another woman? Really, god you're so smart and that's one of the many qualities I admire and love. But Jesus Lily, were you thinking at all?"
"I was and did. I stopped kissing her, Sarah. I pushed her off of me because things were heading in the direction of not just kissing."

I stare at her before shaking my head slowly. I cannot believe this is fucking happening. Out of the both of us, if one was going to screw something up, I really thought it would've been me. I absolutely cannot take any of this in because I'm so beyond shocked that Lily would ever do this to me. This is the last thing I would ever think about doing to her. I completely forget that I'm just standing there staring blankly into her eyes. I haven't replied back to her, I'm afraid something is going to come flooding out that I don't mean. But why should I be worried by hurting her, she's obviously done enough damage to the both of us.

"Give me time." I demand.
"What.. what do you mean?"
"I said give me time, Lily. I need to process what the hell is happening." I repeat while making my way through the door and down to the living room.
I hear footsteps behind me and it's obviously Lily following me.
She follows me downstairs, but not into the living room. I plop myself down on the sofa and try to go over her words in my head. I try to picture her and that woman.. I can't. Even just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me want to break down in tears.