Fiction

Desire

"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."
-Federico García Lorca

Phil giggled at Dan's disastrous attempt to fix the wardrobe in his room, which had ended with Dan on the floor and half the wardrobe scattered around him. His giggling soon turned into a full-on laughing fit, helped along by the disgruntled look on Dan's face.

Still laughing, he reached out a hand to help Dan up, which he took, warmth enveloping Phil's hand and travelling up his arm in tiny sparks of electricity, effectively shutting off the laughter. In his daze, Phil misjudged Dan's weight, and pulled too hard on his hand, pulling him upwards and then downwards again, until they were both on the floor, Dan's body pressed firmly against Phil's. He was so warm.  So beautiful.

Both their hearts were beating furiously in their chests, and both their faces were bright red, and both their breaths were getting quicker than they thought possible.

Their lips were mere centimetres away from touching, and they were both achingly aware of that simple fact. Dan leaned in slightly. Less than a centimetre now. A little more, and now barely a breath. Dan stopped there, a breath away from Phil's lips, silently asking Phil to take the last step.

Phil reached up a hand, and cupped the back of Dan's head. He closed his eyes. And brought Dan's lips to his.

Phil groaned and closed his laptop. That had been a good phanfic, but that was all it was. All it could ever be.

It had been about a year since he started developing feelings for his best friend, Dan, and about nine months since he started obsessively reading phanfiction. He barely ever finished them, as at the sweet kisses or smut point he got exasperated about how it would never, ever, happen. And, also, if he was being honest with himself, he got the teensiest, tiniest, little bit flustered at the thought of any of it, especially the smut, actually happening. Okay, maybe a bit more than a tiny bit. More like a Titanic-sized, humongous, gigantic amount of fluster-ness.

At first, Phil had just noticed how smooth and shiny Dan's hair was, or how his eyes sparkled when he smiled. Then came staring at him when he talked, tuning out and watching his expressions. Then the I-can't-be-in-the-same-room-as-you, which only lasted a week before Dan confronted him, and he stopped, but only for him. Only ever for him.

It had now reached the blushing stage. In a way, the worst stage. Whenever Dan walked in a room, touched him, smiled or even moved, Phil could feel his cheeks heat up, very, very obviously.

Most of his friends had noticed this, and had questioned him about it, to which he replied "I must be ill, I've been feeling hot all day. I'll go and see a doctor if I don't feel better in a couple of days."

Most had believed him, with only PJ and Chris giving him the that's-enough-of-your-crap-now-tell-me-the-truth look. They were the only ones who knew about his crush on Dan, although the phan girls all hoped for it to be true, so that 'Phan' could become canon. Despite the fact that for that to happen, Dan would also have to have a crush on Phil, which was about as likely as Phil developing a love for opera, and running off to join an opera house.

His stomach grumbled, effectively bringing him back to the present. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table, and, seeing that it was 7:00pm, an acceptable time to eat dinner, dragged his tired and unresponsive body out of bed, then off the floor, and finally to the kitchen.

And then off the floor again.

Dan had been standing in the kitchen door, and Phil hadn't been paying enough attention to his surroundings to notice him. This lead to the inevitability of a) touching him and b) making an absolute fool of himself in front of him, which was just what Phil needed to wake up properly. And this meant blushing furiously.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry Phil, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Dan asked.

"No, no, I'm fine. Im such a klutz, Jesus! I'm practically disabled, I'm so clumsy!"

Dan laughed. "That's true. You hungry? Wanna order pizza?"

"Sure," Phil said, already reaching for the phone and dialling. "The usual?"

"Yep. Movie?"

"You have to ask?"

"Fault in Our Stars?"

"Get tissues."

***

A/N:

Hey guys! So, this is my first phanfic, hope you like so far! Tell me if you want me to continue it, or if I should just burn it.
-RuneStarArrow

PS, if any of you are Potterheads and ship Hinny, go ahead and read my fic on https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11239459/1/Hogwarts-Academy-for-Exceptional-Students or just search RuneStarArrow, it's my only story.