Oblivious

Chapter thirteen.

_Harrys point of view_

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I vowed to myself that I'd never let anyone see me cry, not my friends, not my mum and especially not fucking Penny.

When Kelly manipulated and humiliated Penny by asking her about her virginity, I couldn't help but feel bad, and as much as I tried to divert the attention away from her by annoyingly asking random questions to everyone, I failed and was somehow sucked into the most asked question going around the group. Penny's virginity.

I said to myself that she wasn't. I mean, how could she be? She's everything a man would go crazy over. She's everything I would go crazy for. I am fucking crazy over this girl. She doesn't even know it, and I'll make sure she doesn't find out, I don't have it in me to smile away her turning me down. Especially not her, I can't.

It's the way she looked into my eyes and admitted she's never been touched. The way she didn't even blink as she stuttered adorably, it's the cutest thing, listening to her struggle to form a word when she's under pressure or nervous. I'm the biggest dick for snapping at her earlier in the corridor, for my sake, I hope she knows I didn't mean it.

A flood of relief waved over me when her confession sunk in. It was a phenomenal feeling. The feeling that you know the girl you're falling for has never been touched by another man, has never moaned someone else's name, except mine, has never sunk her nails in someone else's back and clawing at their skin when they're burying themselves into her. Which is just another turn on, another reason to like her even more. Stop been ridiculous, she doesn't want you, just forget about her. My subconscious reminds me, belittling my hope for her and me.

Once I fight away my thoughts about the girl I desperately want, I look at her one more time. Her body slumped down on the leather couch, her left leg crossed over the other, her elbow digging in the arm rest, holding a bottle of vodka in her grasp, her other hand gripping her thigh. She looks so oblivious to everything around her. She looks like she's focusing on this immature game but really, she's only intrigued on the bottle and her thoughts. I wonder what she's thinking? Is she okay? Is she thinking about me? Stop being stupid. My subconscious warns.

I fight everything in me to not walk straight over to her and grab the alcohol from her grip and smash it against the wall. I can tell she's already drunk and I don't want her getting even more drunk. She's such a vulnerable and innocent girl, any boy in here wouldn't think twice about trying to have their way with her, she's too naive to even know it. Anyone who dares to lay a finger on her would have to go through me first, and by the end of it, They'd be slammed against the wall and floor, a couple punches thrown here and there, until they beg for me to stop. The thought of someone hurting Penny is fucking sickening. Why am I thinking about shit like this. It'll never happen. I won't let it happen.

My disturbing thoughts have dragged out more than I expected, they were too long. Way too long as I don't even see Penny sat on the couch anymore. I quickly stand to my feet and run out down the living room to the kitchen then to the spare room. She's nowhere to be fucking found. She couldn't have gone home because Sarah brought her here, she couldn't have walked because it's too far. Paranoia takes over me and before I know it, I'm grabbing on someone's shirt and shouting at them, asking where the fuck she is. His red top scrunched up from my touch. I don't even know who he is, why am I angry at him for letting Penny out of my sight.

I quickly let go of him and walk away, he looks too intoxicated and high to even care about my irrational actions. I instantly think about the times were that was me. Drinking away my sorrows and inhaling any type of drug to make me forget and block out the pain as the smoke courses through my veins.

Why am I here chasing after a girl that I'm sure doesn't even like me? What is happening to me? You're in love. My subconscious tells me. No, I'm not in love, I can't be, right?

By the time I've checked the ground floor three times, entered every room, empty or not, barged my way in every bathroom and walked down the first couple of blocks in the sharp, cold air, I'm exhausted and I can't find her. Maybe someone's offered to take her home? Who would take her? Is she safe? Have they hurt her? Does she need me? The questions overflowing as I walk towards my room.

I twist the handle and step inside, flicking the light on and dropping my jacket to the floor, I'm too tired to put it back inside of my wardrobe. I walk over to the mirror and look at my reflection. My cheeks slightly flushed as I ran back to the dorms and up the stairs, my hair looking curlier than usual for some reason and my black shirt crinkled ever so slightly.

Once I take a step closer to the mirror, something catches me eye. My bed covers are moving. How much fucking alcohol have I drank to see illusions like this. I turn around and walk towards my bed. My heart almost stops when I see her shoes and clothes nearly placed on my desk, it's her, I know it. I pace myself to the way she's faced and let out a sigh of relief when I see her in a deep sleep. The covers have travelled down her hips and I know it's cold as fuck in this room, so I pull it up on her, but stop midway through as I notice she's in my hoodie, only because I spot the miniature ketchup stain on the right sleeve. I try to hold in my laughter but fail.

I've never seen a girl in my clothes. Usually, when I fuck the mistakes, I don't offer them my clothing, heck, I don't even let them stay for the night unless I'm too drunk to fucking care. I cringe at the thought and regain my thoughts on Penny again, for the hundredth time today. Her busty curves filling up my hoodie, her wide hips hugging the fabric, the material complementing her chest in the most seductive way.

Once I took her in my bed, I drop to my knees and look down at myself. I'm such a fool. Such a jerk. How could I possibly think ignoring Penny will benefit us both. It won't. It'll just make shit ten times worse. I haven't even known the girl for long but I'm so attached to her. I feel like I'm obsessed, I fought everything in me to not collide my fist to Zayns jaw when he was throwing discreet stares at Penny, the way he bit his lip and smiled at her, the way he twiddled his fingers and gazed at her made me sick to my stomach. I feel protective over her, but I can't help it.

I guess it's just me proving my past thoughts wrong. I used to tell myself that I'd end up like him, like my dad. That I'd end up a failure, a lost cause, a violent diabolical man. And from the looks of it, I am. I'm a drunken dick head, sleep with girls that I don't know or care to know the name of and have an uncontrollable temper, that even I can't obtain.

But Penny, I know she can change that. She makes me want to be a different person. To not live a life were my priorities are drinking, smoking and sex. She makes me want to care for her, to protect her, to show her that I can change, to prove others wrong for her, to prove my fucking dad wrong. I can't help my feelings towards her, I can't help the way I'm so obsessed with her. She's like a light. I've been trapped in the darkness for so long, and so when she comes along, I need to have her. I need her to show me the right way to live. The right way to love.

Before I know it, my fingers are travelling down her delicate face and jaw line, then smoothing down her glossy brown hair in her cute ponytail, I look deep and thoroughly into her, she's so perfect, so beyond my league.

"You're so beautiful" I blurt aloud, my eyes widen as I realised she could of heard that. But she couldn't have, she's asleep, or I thought she was.

She randomly begins to smile, her thick lips curling upwards, her eyes squeezing shut tightly and her body begins to move around in the bed. I pray to fucking god she didn't hear me, I try to make sure by calling her name.

"Penny?" I say softly. Her eyes open as soon as the word leaves me mouth.
Shit.

This chapters kinda short, I'm sorry, I'm just laid on my bed at 3am writing this. The next chapter will just conclude this one, I'm just way too tired to finish this one off lmao.

Thanks for the messages I'm getting. So many compliments and support towards this book, it's really nice.

Thanks for reading this far. Honestly, it makes me so happy, I know there isn't a lot of reads, but it's still so nice to see some people take some time to give the book a chance, so thankyou!

Vote and comment.

StylesSlave_

X