Archer Diaries

The Life No One Wants

I've felt every kind of emotion, anger, sadness, hatred, happiness, even love. However I have no words to describe what is going on in my head and heart now. Oh God, forgive me but this sin is becoming too overwhelming to ignore. I have come to covet what's not mine so much that it's eating me up quickly. I'd almost ran after her last night however I stopped. I don't know what would've happened if I did follow her but I do know I wouldn't have been able to hold back the need to touch her any longer. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing the things I've been fantasizing about for so long.Call me a bad son but I want mum to disappear again if it means being around her for as long as I did.Watching her from the window, from afar is not enough anymore. She needs a hero and that will be me. Ahh, I wish I could say it was frustrating but that would be the worst lie I ever told. What're you doing to me, Robyn and why do I like it so much...

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"Mum! Mum!" Mason called anxiously when he woke up and realised she wasn't in bed. He had stayed next to her all night. He ran down the stairs in haste.

"What have I told you about running around the house?" Sarah scolded coming in view from the threshold of the kitchen with an apron around her neck and a spatula in hand. She had a playful expression as she watched relief gush over him.

Tears begun forming in his eyes as he ignored her words and ran into her arms, "Mum!"

"Hey! This isn't something you should be crying over. I didn't even yell." she said rubbing his back even though she knew the reason why he cried and it hurt her beyond words.

"I know! I'm...I'm just so happy to see you."

"I'm sure you are..." she pulled back but not far enough and stared at the handsome boy she had given birth to. He looked so much like his dad. They shared the same raven black hair, well defined face and pouty pink lips. The only thing he got from her was her grey eyes. She reached out, touched his reddened cheek and smiled.

He smirked, "What's for breakfast? I'm starved."

"I made your favourite..." His eyes grew wide and he ran from her arms into the kitchen. On the table was a plate of waffles with a bottle of maple syrup next to it, scrambled eggs and a cup of sweetened coffee. He sat down at the table, poured the maple syrup on the waffles and begun chowing down on it.

With his mouth full, he mumbled incoherently but she was able to catch a few phrases, "This...mhmm...is good, mum"

"I'm glad you like it." she replied, her heart feeling heavy "Mason..."

"Mhmm!" He looked up to see the tears rolling down her cheeks and stopped eating.

"I'm going away for awhile."

He dropped his fork and stared at her getting scared, "Where are you going?"

"I'm getting help... for us."

"Help?"

"Yes, Mason, help! I know how you've suffered all these years. It-It's been hard, I know that but that's going to change. I'm going to get better but until then you need to take care of yourself. You must not skip your meals and..." she explained as her tears still fell silently down her face. Mason watched her speak, tears sliding down his face as well. He got up from the table and ran into her arms for the second time.

"I love you so much, Mum"

"I know and I love you more"

Later that afternoon, he saw his mother off at the train station. She was moving to another city to get the help she needed. She had refused to tell him which rehab centre she was going to but promised to call from time to time. Before she left, she gave him the bonds his father had purchased before he died. It was meant to be his college fund but she'd given them to him all the same. They would mature soon and he could do whatever he wanted with the money. As the train pulled away, he felt a part of him die.