Archer Diaries

Road To Recovery

I used to sit by the window most times and watch the other kids play. That is all I could do since no one would play with me but one day I saw a girl my age look my way. She had just moved two houses down. I knew that because I heard mum talk about it. I hid quickly under the window and when I looked outside again, she was no more there. I climbed into my bed to read my comic book when I heard mum shout my name. I ran quickly downstairs and almost tripped on the stairs. Someone chuckled and I looked towards the living area to see the girl from outside. Mum came from behind her smiling.
"This is Dawn, the new kid on the block." Mum said. Dawn smiled and walked to me. I told her my name and mum made us go to my room to play bringing us lemonade and biscuits later on. She and I became really good friends from then on but everyone else shauned her because she was friends with me but she didn't care. In fact, she never cared about most things girls cared about and that was what I liked about her. I think I had a crush on her when we got to middle school but couldn't tell her before it happened. She died in a car accident during our first summer vacation in middle school. I cried for days wishing to die with her but here I am now.

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"The principal would like to see you, Mr. Archer" Mrs Dorian, Mason's AP Maths teacher said after the class was over and he was leaving. He nodded not bothering to find out if she knew anything. He walked the quiet hallway to the principal's office. Since the secretary wasn't around, he went straight to the door and knocked.

"Come in."he heard and walked in."Oh it's you, Mr. Archer. Have a seat." He sat across the middle aged man in a faded suit and the bored look he'd been sporting since forever waiting to hear whatever he had to say not that he was actually interested. "Well Mr.Archer, how are you?"

"Fine" he replied trying hard not to roll his eyes at his sudden interest in his well being.

"Great. Well I called you here to inform and congratulate you on being chosen as your class valedictorian."

"I can't." he refused bluntly.

"Why? It's every student's dream to be valedictorian."

"Yeah well I'm not every student and I'm not even attending the stupid graduation."

"Mason, I know your time here hasn't been wonderful but you can use this opportunity to let everyone see your potential. You don't need to write a long speech or say unnecessary things. Just say what's in your heart." Mason chuckled. If only he knew what was in his heart.

"I'll think about it." he said just to get him off his back.

"Great. Hope you make the right decision."

"Yeah sure. Can I leave now?"

"Of course." he walked out of the office and bypassed the secretary who had returned without a word. He wore his hoodie over his head, plugged in his earphones and walked out the school. He walked the few blocks down to the bus stop to pick the bus to the other side of town. He retraced his steps and found himself in the therapist's office. He'd been having a hard time deciding whether to see her again or not since he was beginning to have unnatural thoughts about her more often than he wanted. Her assistant informed him she was having a session with another client and would be done soon. He turned to leave when her door opened and a middle aged man shuffled out. Her eyes lit up when it landed on him and darn was he mesmerised. She looked better than he first saw her.

"Mason, come on in."she said in that sultry voice he had been hearing in his head all week. He nodded not trusting his voice and followed her. She offered him a seat and a bottle of grape juice. "I'm glad you came back."

"You are?" he responded feeling a bit elated.

"Yes, I really want to help you, Mason. Believe me." He looked into her brown eyes and saw only sincerity and that prospect made his heart tug harder in his chest. He felt he could trust her with all his secrets and worries and for the first time in his 17 years of existence, he felt he could trust someone and not have a care in the world.

"My dad died when I was 6 an...and..."he begun, his voice breaking. He hardly ever spoke about how his dad died. He had kept the guilt buried deep inside and it had been eating him away slowly. "I killed him" He raised his head expecting a look of accusation or disdain but all he got was a blank look.

"Why do you say so?" she asked indifferently.

"He was trying to save me from drowning and he...he... drowned instead."

"How old did you say you were when this happened?"

"6"

"Mason..."

"Don't say it's not my fault because it is. I ruined my mum too. She has never been the same since then..."

"What happened to her?"

"She...huh...she shuts down completely sometimes and looks at me with hate for killing dad. I know that's my punishment but it's too much to bear."

Robyn watched him quietly trying to act calm and professional but she was actually sad for him. He had lived eleven years of his life suffering from unnecessary guilt and suddenly it seemed as if her problems were nothing. She was a grown woman and would find a way out of it eventually but he was too young to go through this.

"Mason, I want you to do something for me."

"What?" He looked up with tears gleaming in his eyes.

"Follow me." He gave her bewildered look but she only smiled "C'mon" He stood up and followed her out. She told her assistant to finish up and leave since he was her last appointment. She led him to her car and they drove off.

"Where are we going?" he asked getting a bit worried.

"You'll know and don't worry I'm not gonna kill you." she assured him with a smile and turned towards the road. He mumbled something nervously and looked out the window. The town was behind them now and she still was driving. Finally she stopped in front of a cliff. "Here we are."

"What're we doing here"

"To shout our problems and guilts out."

He turned to her with a confused look "Shout?"

"Yeah, shout. To be able to heal, you need to let it out. The guilt, the anger and pain. C'mon!" She got out and walked to the edge. He followed suite still not sure how this was going to help. He looked down and moved back a bit. It was a ten foot drop into the ocean. He looked at her and couldn't help but smile. The gentle breeze blew across her face and she looked really peaceful.

"What?" she asked and he realised he had been staring too long. He blushed and looked away.

"Nothing" he replied hoping she won't persist.

"I used to come here since I was young. I screamed out my problems and the winds took them far away."

"And did it work?"

"Hmm...sometimes. So right now, I want you to close your eyes and think of everything negative you've been through. Your father's death, your mother's nervous breakdown, all the bullying and name calling and I want you to let it all out in an ear piercing scream." Mason heaved heavily and closed his eyes, he saw his dad in a distance smiling.

"Just let it go, son!" he heard him call out softly. Just then he was overwhelmed with emotions and he screamed as loud as he could maybe even more. He screamed in anger and pain at him for leaving him and his mum. He screamed in anger and pain about Dawn's death. Soon he heard Robyn scream as well and together they let all the years of misery go.