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Chapter 32
#wrewp
Tuwing magkakaroon ako ng mataas o mababa man na score sa exams, lagi akong binibilhan ni Grant ng pagkain. At kapag lagi niya iyong ginagawa ay parang may humahaplos sa puso ko. I never . . . experienced that. Nakukuha ko lang ang gano'ng bagay sa mga magulang ko kapag palaging mataas ang mga scores ko o kaya ay nanguna ako sa klase. And if my scores lacked a point or two, it was never celebrated. It reminded me again of the time when I lost the quiz bee in senior high school. I lost. And they didn't prepare a food for me.
Kaya ngayon . . . itong nararanasan ko kay Grant ay sobra pa sa sobra.
He was healing a part of me.
"I wasn't the highest," sabi ko, pinapakita ang papel ko kay Grant.
Hindi niya iyon tinignan. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. He patted my head gently while I only stared at him in awe.
"It's okay," aniya. He then took out the keys of his wrangler and slid it inside his pocket. "Let's go. We'll buy you your favorite ice cream."
That was our usual thing. I grew to love him more and more because of his never-ending gestures that continually heals me. Every bullet hole from my bad experiences was mended with his gentle band aids. At habang patagal nang patagal ang relasyon naming dalawa, mas nakikilala ko siya.
Grant, my sanctuary.
Wala na akong ibang hihilingin pa.
The adjustment for college wasn't easy. Hindi rin ako sanay na kahit sabado ay may pasok kami. Hindi rin ako sanay na wala rin kaming adviser. Kaya kapag parehas kaming may bakante ni Grant, nilalaan namin iyon sa pag-aaral. Instead of going on dates, we opted to just stay in his room and study. Pero sino bang niloloko ko? It took him a lot of times before he behaved. Palagi ba namang nanlalambing kahit nag-aaral kami. Mas marami pa nga ata ang panlalandi kaysa sa mga inaaral.
That continued for months. It became our usual setup. We had been so busy juggling heavy workloads in college, but I was glad it didn't feel so heavy. Maybe because I had my partner with me. Grant made my freshman year a little bit less overwhelming.
"What subject are you working on?" tanong ni Grant, sinisilip ang laptop ko.
Nakapatong ang ulo niya sa balikat ko habang mahinang humahampas sa mukha namin ang hangin ng Sinking Lake. We sat together on the picnic blanket, the basket nestled beside us. Its lid was slightly opened, revealing glimpses of our afternoon treats. Spooky curled up in his lap, fast asleep, while I focused on my essay.
Sumilip ako sa lawa bago sa katabi ko. "Political Theories I."
"You need a hand?" malambing niyang tanong.
"Tss. Hindi," sambit ko.
"Okay . . ."
Nilingon ko siya. I pursed my lips. "Kiss nga."
Walang pagdadalawang isip niyang pinatakan ng halik ang labi ko. He stifled his smile by pursing his lips too, eyes lingering on me.
"Ayan, nakatulong ka na," sabi ko.
Grant's teeth went on top of his lip. Kinikilig.
"Huwag kang kiligin," sabi ko, nanliliit ang mata. "Ilang beses na tayo nag-kiss."
"I can't help it."
"Gusto mo pa atang umisa."
"Puwede?" tanong niya, pinatulan ang sinabi ko.
