Black Iris

Thank You - Authors Note

To my readers~

I'm not privy to writing these notes very often these days, but for the final chapter I figured it was important to mark the occasion.

I started this series when I was 17, after reading a million 'dark romance' stories on Wattpad with the same trope, dark themes, and questionable relationship dynamics.

Black Rose was born from a desire to be a part of the club, to break the mould and do something a little different in my own voice, to challenge myself to stay consistent with my writing.

Well, though the whole consistency thing has gone out the window, I do hope that I've stuck true to the rest of that.

This series became an outlet, allowing me to channel my darkest feelings and desires into a creative work. My relationship to this story has changed a lot over the years, as I've come to learn more about what is and is not okay in relationships, and in life.

When I finished the first book, I felt so conflicted about what I had created. I was worried I'd glorified domestic violence, trivialised emotional abuse.

But I think as I wrote this story, my perspective changed.

I mean yes, I still think this book is a little bit messed up. But also, I think there's a reason I was drawn to reading these kinds of stories, and a reason people read this one.

Thriller, and dark romance, as toxic as they can be, are an outlet for people. Particularly women. While I am not about to go all academic-theory in this authors note, I've read some interesting articles and perspectives about the value of dark fiction in women reclaiming their sexuality.

And that's made me think about my own journey.

When I set about writing Black Rose, a key difference from what I was reading at the time was Ophelia's sexuality. And that, along with the complicated relationship between her and Gwen, became a through line of both that book and this one.

Gwen spends much of her time in both with a bit of a saviour complex. She tried to position herself a certain way to Ophelia, and ignores that she too is an abuser until she is forced to face it.

But I do think there is something to be said for the difference in experience between Gwen and Blake.

Blake's behaviours and actions are consistently formed from his arrogance, hunger for power and sense of entitlement. He exerts control over people because he can, and because he's an ass.

But Gwen's actions are a reaction to her own trauma. She was hurt by Blake and has been in a pattern of behaviours for years trying to process that pain.

I know I have plenty of readers that hate her guts. But I think at the end of the day, she is also a victim. And that everyone deserves a chance to heal and feel safe.

For a long time, I had no idea how I wanted to end this story. It's part of why I procrastinated doing it so long (seriously- I started Uni, did an honours year, graduated, and started a full time job in the time it has taken me to finish this book). 

But when I finally sat down to write it, I think it was that story I wanted to tell. The one where both Ophelia and Gwen are able to reclaim their own narrative, process what's happened, and heal from it.

I'm not disillusioned to thinking it's easy. Trauma lives on in the body in ways we won't ever fully understand. But there are incredible specialists, resources and therapies that can help us work through it.

Whether it's hyper sexuality, how Ophelia presented in much of this book, or deflection and detachment like Gwen, these are common but not necessarily healthy reactions trauma.

The only way we can address our own feelings and emotions is to look at them head on.

Only then can we start to understand ourselves and see a way out.

Thanks for coming on this journey with me, if you made it all the way to the end. I tried to tie up as many loose ends as I could, but as a 'panster', and with how delayed my updates were, I'm sure I missed "important" plot points I had planned to resolve by the end. If you have questions that remain unanswered, I am happy to answer them with whatever I had planned to answer them with.

Don't worry though, I'll keep writing, if sporadically. I have a much more consensual dark romance in the works on my profile called Hiding Sparrows if you're interested.

It's a mix of criminal fiction with a little bit of intrigue, and a whole slow burn will-they-won't-they hot and sexy flirting going on between the leads. At least, that's the vision. You can determine if it's at all successful.

But as I close out this book, and this series, I am grateful for what it's taught me.

And to every person who added this book to a reading list called 'in progress/unfinished' I am sorry for keeping you waiting so long.

It's been real.

Sincerely,
Alex

P.S. in canon regarding the Gwen/Ophelia book... they did publish it, in case that wasn't obvious. It's this book. I never know if I am being too subtle.

P.P.S. To that one person that added Black Rose to a reading list called 'PROBLEMATIC BOOKS- DO NOT READ' honestly girl, you're so right

~ the end