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Taylor
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The air was thick with tension, heavier than it had ever been between us. I could feel it in the way Karrizma was looking at me, her eyes distant, like she was somewhere far away, even though we were in the same room.
I could tell something was off. She hadn't said much all day, just going through the motions, like she was a ghost. We'd been through a lot together, but tonight felt different. The silence stretched out, thick and suffocating, and I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Karri," I said softly, stepping toward her, my voice quieter than usual. "Talk to me."
She didn't answer at first, just sat there, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt. She was always fidgeting when she was upset, but this felt like more than just being annoyed or frustrated.
I knelt down in front of her, lifting her chin with my finger so she'd look at me. Her eyes were red, but she didn't seem to care. She wasn't crying. No, Karrizma never cried. But I could see the storm behind her eyes.
"Karri... please. I can feel it. What's going on with you?"
She let out a long breath, the sound of it almost like a quiet sob that she didn't let escape. Her eyes avoided mine, like she was scared to let me see what was really there. But I knew her. I knew her too well to ignore the cracks in her mask.
"I'm tired, Tay," she said, her voice shaky but firm, like she had been holding this in for far too long. "Tired of pretending. Tired of trying to fight it. All the time. I can't do it anymore."
My chest tightened as I listened. "Fight what? What you mean, Karri?"
She turned her gaze away from me again, her voice growing quieter, heavier with the weight of everything she had been carrying. "I've been fighting this feeling for so long... this pain." She shook her head slowly, like the words tasted bitter in her mouth. "I've been pretending to be happy, pretending that everything's okay. But it's not. It never has been."
I reached out for her hand, but she pulled away just as quickly. The rejection stung, but I pushed it down, holding onto her words, trying to make sense of them.
"Karri, this isn't like you," I said, my voice breaking just a little. "You're strong. You've always been strong. Whatever you're feeling, we can work through it, okay? Together."
Her eyes flicked back to mine, but there was no light in them, no spark. Just emptiness. She stared at me like I was a stranger.
"I don't know if I want to work through it anymore," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I'm so fucking tired, Tay. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay when I'm not. I'm not happy. I haven't been happy for a long time."
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I felt my breath catch. This wasn't the woman I knew. This wasn't the Karrizma who had built everything with me. This wasn't the same girl who fought every battle, who never gave up.
"Don't say that," I said, the desperation creeping into my voice. "Don't talk like that. You don't have to carry this alone, Karri. Whatever it is, I'll be here. I'll help you fight it. Just... don't give up on me."
She swallowed hard, her face contorting like she was fighting back tears. But no tears came. Instead, she reached out, her hand trembling as she touched my cheek. The touch was so soft, like she was saying goodbye without saying it aloud.
"I'm so tired, Tay," she said again, her voice hollow, and this time there was no denying the sadness in her eyes. "I don't want to fight anymore. I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this. It hurts too much. I just want it to stop. I want the pain to end."
I felt my heart stop in my chest as the words hit me. They were so final. So... permanent. She was giving up. And I couldn't understand why.
"Karri," I whispered, shaking my head, as if the words would make sense if I just kept saying them. "I can't lose you. I can't let you go. Please, don't do this. You mean everything to me. You are everything to me."
She closed her eyes, and for a second, I thought she was going to break. But instead, she let out a long breath, like she was giving up on more than just this moment. She was giving up on us.
"I don't know how to be happy, Tay," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "I don't know how to fix this. And I'm tired of pretending that I do."
And in that moment, I realized how much she had been suffering, how much pain she had been hiding behind that tough exterior. She was right—she had been pretending. But I hadn't seen it. I hadn't wanted to see it.
I moved closer, my hand reaching out, but before I could hold her, she stood up abruptly, stepping away from me. "I'm sorry, Tay. I really am," she said, her voice breaking just slightly. "But I need to figure this out on my own. I need... I need some time."
"Karrizma, no! You will not leave, I will not let you!" I say, tears rolling down my face.
I grab her arm, pulling her into a hug.
She tries to fight, but ends up breaking down in my arms instead.
"I'm done, Tay!" She cries.
I sit down with her in my arms still, holding her, because I know if I let go, I'm letting go for good, and I will not allow that.
"Shh, Karri. Just shh." I say, playing her locs.
Her sobs fill up the room, and I can only pray that she get better.
