𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤? ✪

Chapter 15 ⭐️

Karrizma Myella Jones-Steal

...

I'm sittin' on my couch, the TV on but I ain't watchin' it. 

It's just noise, kinda like everything else in my life. I can barely hear the traffic outside my window, the usual honking and screeching of the city.

 Don't even bother me no more. 

Not like it used to.

I reach over to the coffee table, fingers shaky as hell, and grab the blunt I left there. It's rolled nice, tight but not too tight, and I know it's gonna hit right. 

I don't care how much I gotta smoke tonight. Anything to escape this feeling, this weight that's been sittin on my chest for days.

I light it up, pull deep. The smoke fills my lungs, feels like it's wrapping around my whole body, and I hold it in as long as I can. 

When I finally exhale, it's like the world slows down. My brain fuzzes out, everything starts to feel a little further away, like I'm not really here. I lean back, let my head fall against the couch, and just stare at the ceiling for a minute.

But I ain't alone.

I feel him before I even hear him. Kaylen.

"You can't keep doin' this, Karizzma. You know that, right?"

His voice is soft, like he's tryin' to comfort me, but it just pisses me off.

 I flick the ash off the blunt, annoyed, and take another hit. "I'm fine. Just leave me alone." My words come out muffled, like I don't even care if he hears me or not.

He don't listen though. "You think this helps? Numbing yourself? Hiding from everything? It ain't gonna fix a damn thing, K." His words cut through the smoke, through the haze, like he's standing right next to me even though I know he ain't.

I exhale slowly, like I can blow him away with the smoke. It don't work though.

But then, that's when I feel it, the shift. Kamari's here now. 

Her voice is louder, sharper. "Kaylen's right though. You can't keep hiding from your problems forever, K. You think smoking up is gonna change anythin'? Nah. You gotta handle your shit or you gon' drown in it."

I roll my eyes, tossin' the blunt in the ashtray, and sit up straight. My hands are trembling now. My thoughts are startin' to scatter, jumpin' from one thing to the next. 

"I don't care, Kamari. Just... just shut up. I don't wanna hear it right now."My voice cracks at the end, and that just makes me more pissed.

"Oh, I know you don't wanna hear it. That's your problem, Karizzma. You ain't never wanna face what's eatin' at you. You just hide, smoke, and pretend everything's cool when it ain't."

Her words cut deeper than I want to admit, but that's the thing with Kamari. 

She don't sugarcoat shit.

I drop my head in my hands, rubbing my temples, but it don't help. I can feel the pressure building up behind my eyes, like the floodgates are about to break open. 

But I hold it in. 

I gotta hold it in.

The room's spinning now. Or maybe I am.