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Karrizma Myella Jones-Steal
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The walls felt like they were closing in on me. The air was thick, like it was pressing against my chest, making it harder to breathe. My thoughts, they were racing, swirling around, everything blending together in a painful mess. I could feel the tension inside me, like a knot that was tied too tight, and no matter how hard I tried to unravel it, it only got worse.
I sat on the edge of the bed, hands gripping the sheets, trying to hold myself together. But I couldn't. I could feel it all, that weight of everything I'd been holding in for so long—each moment, each second of fear and exhaustion—crushing me. I just wanted it to stop.
I could hear Tay moving around the house, her voice faint as she talked to someone on the phone. But it all felt so distant, like I was in a different world, a different place, unable to reach out.
My hands were shaking, and I couldn't make them stop. I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut like that would make it all go away, but the pain was still there. My chest ached. My throat burned. I could feel the tears pushing to the surface, but I couldn't cry. Not now. Not after everything I had already been through.
The truth was, I was tired. So fucking tired. I didn't know how much longer I could keep pretending that I was okay. I was done with the act, done with holding everything in. I wasn't strong enough for this anymore. I couldn't keep up the facade.
I stood up, but I felt dizzy, like the room was spinning, my vision blurring. I gripped the side of the dresser to steady myself, but it didn't help. My breathing started to pick up, shallow and fast, and I could feel the panic rising, clawing at my insides.
I stumbled to the bathroom, needing to splash some cold water on my face, but I barely made it two steps before everything hit me all at once. My knees buckled, and I collapsed to the floor, my back hitting the wall behind me.
I gasped for air, my hands pressing against my chest, trying to calm the pounding in my heart. But it didn't stop. My chest felt like it was caving in, suffocating me from the inside out. It was like I couldn't breathe anymore, like the world was too much for me to handle.
I tried to stand, tried to get back up, but my body wouldn't listen. I couldn't move. I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears, loud and erratic. Everything felt out of control. I didn't know how to stop it.
"Tay..." I whispered, the sound of her name barely escaping my lips. But she couldn't hear me. No one could hear me. I was so alone in this.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my mind racing. Thoughts of my past, of everything I'd been through, everything I hadn't healed from... it all flooded in. The loss, the pain, the emptiness I tried so hard to bury. I was drowning in it, and no matter how hard I fought to stay above the surface, I kept sinking lower.
The tears finally came, hot and fast, but it was too late to stop them. They spilled down my face, soaking into the floor beneath me. I didn't know why I was crying. Maybe because I was scared. Maybe because I couldn't fix this. Maybe because I was just so tired of being broken.
I reached for my phone, my hand trembling as I dialed Tay's number, but I couldn't get a single word out. My throat felt like it was closing up, and I choked on my own breath, gasping for air.
"Tay..." I tried again, my voice barely a whisper, as if I could reach her somehow. But nothing came.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps rushing toward me. Tay's voice, panicked, calling out my name. But even that felt distant. Like she was far away, and I was too far gone to reach.
The last thing I remember was her kneeling beside me, her hands shaking as she tried to hold me. She was shouting, but her words didn't make sense, they were just noises in the background of my mind.
And then everything went black.
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Taylor
I don't know what happened. One second, I was just talking, moving around the house, and the next... Karrizma was on the floor, her body shaking, her face pale. Her breath was coming in short gasps, like she was suffocating.
"Karrizma!" I shouted, rushing over to her. My heart was in my throat. I kneeled beside her, trying to shake her awake. "Karri, stay with me. Please stay with me!"
She was barely conscious, her eyes fluttering, tears streaking down her face. "Tay..." she whispered, barely audible, but I could hear the panic in her voice.
I grabbed her phone, my hands shaking so badly I could barely dial 911. The dispatcher answered, and I could barely speak. "Please... she can't breathe... she... she's—"
The rest of the words caught in my throat. I didn't know how to say it. Didn't know how to explain the depth of what had just happened. My Karrizma was broken in ways I couldn't fix.
The ambulance came in what felt like forever, but when they finally arrived, they had to stabilize her. I followed them to the hospital, praying, pleading, begging for her to be okay.
But all I could think was—What did I miss? What did I fail to see?
