"Sometimes I feel like im falling apart, but then I ask myself, have I ever been complete"
All throughout my life i have gotten bad panic attacks where I will black out. I will do things that I don't ever remember doing. That's what happened to me that day.
I couldn't find my notebook, that held all my secrets, and I went in to a bad panic attack. I don't know how long I was out of it, but i remember waking up and feeling a stinging pain on my arms and legs. I pulled up my sleeves to see cuts up and down my forearm. I looked next to me to see a razor blade that I didn't even know I had. I was clean for so long. it was almost 6 months and then this. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to be fine. I felt a tear run down my cheek and before I knew it I was full on sobbing.
I got up off my floor and made my way to the bathroom. I knew the water would burn on my open cuts but I had to wash off all the dry blood.
I finally got out of the shower and put on some clothes. I didn't have to go anywhere so I put on a pair of baggy grey sweat pants and a red long sleeve shirt that had "too cool for you" printed on the front.
I walked downstairs and sat down on the couch to watch the newest episode of supernatural, a show that I love. I got halfway through the episode when my doorbell rang.
Who would want to come see me?
YOU ARE READING
The suicide diary
Teen FictionWhat happens when the book holding all her secrets is found by the popular boy at school. he now holds the key to her life. the things nobody else knows.
