These Tears I Cry Are Not For YOU

Tomorrow

-Months. Months. Its only been a couple of months. I feel like its been a year but its only been a couple of months.

12:45 p.m Tuesday

"Gatorade or powerade?"

"Powerade, Gatorade taste funny" I walked into my mommas sewing room and sat down on the stool next to her. "What? They taste the same" He heavily sighed as if he were frustrated, " No they don't" I put the phone on speaker I got to get momma in on this its ridiculous, "Ma tell this man that Gatorade and powerade taste the same" She stopped sewing and looked at me funny "Girl no the hell it don't" My mouth hit the floor," Boom! What I told you!?" I looked down at the phone with a stank face.

"Oh shut up Gabriella "

"Aye, what I told you about that"

"Ella, Ella Ella, ehh ehh ehh ! "

"Loni quit messing with that man, yall ain't 10 no more."

"Haha!"

"Aye! And you quit Melding"

I stuck my tongue out at the phone.

" Do it again and I'll chop it off"

" So mean, I'm leaving you"

"Bye"

I walked out into the hall going into the kitchen." What are you doing today?"

"Nothing much have to go down to the airport today and pick up my plane tickets" I sat the spoon down that i was using to fix my sandwhiches with on the counter," Plane tickets for what?"

"The Johnson Family Reunion, maybe you can meet my mother" I laughed in the phone," Gabe I already know your mother. She actually remembers me, plus she's like 4 doors down. Her, my mother, and Miss Cathy come and get together once or twice a week and just talk about things. I've joined a couple of times, and let me tell you these women are a mess. By the way your mother is a freak. A nasty one at that."

I laughed out, " Yeah I know, it kind of runs in the family, and who's Miss Cathy?"

I know he didn't just...never
mind, "You dont remember Miss Cathy?" He hummed and replyed with a duh tone," Ugh, no I don't"

" Miss Cathy is Tobias' mom"

"Ohhhhhhh, yeah. I totally knew that"

" Oh sure, but when is it?'

"In 3 days"

"When are you leaving? And who are staying with?"

" Well mom I was thinking about leaving tonight so I'll be there by morning so I can get a little rest, and imma stay with my momma"

" Okay good, that way youll be close, but ill call you back before your flight. I have to go to a therapy treatment for my knee."

" Alright boo'

I smiled," Bye" Then I hung up the phone.

Ughh, I need to do something with my life.

"Ma!"

"What girl?!"

"Im heading out!"

"Bye!"

I walked outside and got into my jeep and got inside. I turned on the radio and a song began to play. The words somehow lingered weirdly in my soul. Those three words just seemed to stick and never detached.

Ain't no angel.

I'm not but sometimes I damn sure wished I had one.

I just thought about it. Ain't no angel. Really think about all the things that make you qualified to be an angel and what holds you back from really being one. Is it worth it?