What Went Wrong? (Nathan Sykes fanfiction) *ON HOLD*

Chapter Eight - Inseparable

Chapter Eight

I didn't think that I could be any more nervous than I was right now. What was I going to say? What was he going to ask me? I had no idea. All I did know was that I was scared out of my wits right now.

As I was walking across the road, I realised what I was doing. Did I really want to talk to him? Face him again? Probably not, but it was too late to turn back now, right? I carried on walking across the quiet road and stared at my feet when I didn't have to concentrate on my step.

Things were just awkward now. I wasn't mad at him like I was before. I guess I stopped being so angry about the situation when I'd practically ripped his head off the other day. All my emotions and how I'd felt the past few years came out in that one argument and I think it helped. I'd kept myself so bottled up that I'd just reached breaking point, and it wasn't pretty.

I looked up after moments of daydreaming and saw Nathan had already taken a seat on the damp, dark bench in front of me. He just sat and watched me as I went into deep-thought. I blushed in embarrassment and took a seat next to him, but still kept my distance. I didn't want to be too close to him that he thinks I'm too full on. I mean, we hadn't seen each other in years and we weren't exactly on the best of terms right now!

I kept my gaze on the ground below my feet and examined it. The floor seemed wet, with a few puddles here and there. It must have been raining earlier. 'Typical British weather' I thought to myself. The ground was quite rough against my feet and a few odd stones laid randomly scattered around the path running through the park we were now sat in. I kicked a small stone that was in front of me, trying to forget about the awkward situation I was now in.

"So..." Nath said. He was the first one to speak and you could tell he was trying to make this more comfortable for the both of us. At the minute, it wasn't working.

"So..." I replied back with an uneasy tone.

"Look, I didn't realise you ever felt the way you did. I didn't even realise I'd done half of the stuff you'd said the other day! I didn't mean to push you away. You were the best friend I'd ever had. You still are. And I know 'sorry' probably isn't good enough, I just wanted you to know that I am. Sorry that is. God, I've been such a bad friend. You're the most important person in my life and I pushed you away!” Nathan said getting frustrated at himself and beginning to raise his voice. He placed his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair in anger, "I still can't believe I ever made you feel like that. If I'd have paid attention and been a better friend, none of this would've ever happened. You were always more important to me than the other friends I had back then. Always. But I let you go before it was too late..." Nathan sighed, clearly disappointed in himself. Now I just felt bad. I shouted at him the other day and look at how much it had gotten to him! Yet again, I had caused another problem. Now he was upset (at himself of all people) because of what I had said. What did I say now!?

"Nath... I know you probably didn't even realise it was happening. Always did know that to be honest. And I guess that's OK. You had new friends and they didn't like me. I wasn't going to stop you from seeing them just because of me was I!? My company wasn't wanted, so it wasn't there," I replied. I avoided eye contact and just stared at the night sky that was in front of me.

"But it was wanted Megan! I wanted it! I may not have shown it, but I missed you! Your smile, your laugh, the jokes that you would tell that were so ridiculous they were funny, the way you made me happy no matter what had just made me sad. I missed you Megan, I miss our friendship. And I'm sorry that I ruined it in the first place." Tears were now brimming on the surface of Nathan's eyelids and because of that; I was close to tears too.

"I miss it too. I just thought that you didn't want me anymore, so I left you to it. I left you to get on with your life. All I do is cause problems anyway and you didn't need that. You had a great life, great family, great friends. You didn't need a trouble-causer in your life to ruin all that," I said, the tears now falling down my face.

"You never did cause trouble Megan! You were my best friend; you never cause me any trouble. If anything, you caused me happiness. I should have stayed by you, just like you stuck by me. You were always there to cheer me up and I didn't do that for you. I left you and I'm sorry. I can't turn back time, but I want to make it up to you at least. I'm so sorry!" We were both now in tears. I couldn't take watching him like that any longer so I hugged him, in the hope of calming him down. It was the only thing I could do and in all fairness, I needed a hug right now too.

We stayed in each other's embrace for a few more minutes, sobbing into each other's shoulders, whilst Nathan kept repeating the same words over and over into my ear.

"I'm so, so sorry," he said softly as more tears fell onto my shoulder. I hugged him tighter, letting him know that I was there.

"I know you are. I'm sorry too. You shouldn't be like this because of me. I don't deserve it," I said, wiping away the tear that was rolling down my left cheek.

"You do deserve this, Megan. You deserve everything good and more. I made you feel like crap for years and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I know I keep saying it, but I am really sorry," Nath released himself from around me and looked at my now red face. The tears had left marks on my cheeks and I looked like a mess.

"Why don't we just start a fresh? I miss us being friends and I don't want this to come between us anymore. I miss you," I said, wiping my face of any remaining tears.

"I'd love that," Nathan said with a smile. We both stood up off of the bench and embraced each other again, "I am sorry."

"I know you are and you're forgiven," I answered, hugging him tighter. I had missed this. Us being together.

Soon after, we both decided to head back to the others. We wiped our faces and laughed at how ridiculous we looked. We then turned around and headed back to the van, hand-in-hand. This is what I wanted it to be like. Just us. I had missed him and nothing could have changed that. Maybe now we could have been like we used to be, inseparable...