Fear Revisited [Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow]

011

Jane was not altogether sure she enjoyed the responsibility that came along with the power of choosing what came next.

She supposed she had asked for that ability, however. She did not want to be in a situation where all of the power to make decisions was delegated to someone else, Jonathan or otherwise.

This, though... this was more than she had been prepared to consider.

"I don't know what to say to this, Jonathan," she finally spoke, shaking her head. "I don't even know what to think about any of it."

"It is a lot to process," he agreed quietly. "I encourage you to consider whether or not it has truly changed anything, however."

She scoffed, looking at him in utter disbelief.

"If you do what you did to Stephen to other people, if this is just something you do for fun, then it does change things. It changes everything," she gave the appropriately moral answer.

"Oh, Jane. What an oversimplification," he tsk'ed, reaching out to move a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It isn't simply for fun. That would be most unethical. Quite the contrary, it's my life's work. To show the world the power of fear, to help those who are worthy overcome that obstacle," he explained animatedly, his blue eyes dancing with excitement.

She bit her lip and considered his words. He believed he was... helping. He was not simply running amuck, terrorizing people for the sheer joy of doing so, so far as she could tell.

"Do you use it on your patients?" she asked, the judgment in her tone growing more and more subdued with time.

"Those who require or consent to radical therapies," he said and nodded. "It has proven more effective than barbaric, outdated methods such as shock therapy, for instance."

Though Jane could not see it, Jonathan was painting her a picture far lovelier than the reality of the situation - he spoke of a humanitarian mission to deliver the dregs of society from painful, useless therapies, but failed to mention the mortality rate of testing new toxins or the incredible pain associated with the experiments.

He left these details out intentionally, knowing they would be only a detriment to his cause, which was to shape himself a decent person in Jane's eyes.

It was working, too.

Perhaps it worked only because she so desperately wanted to believe Jonathan was a good person, because she could not imagine having the feelings she had for a psychopath, but it worked regardless of why.

"Can you show me your work?" she barely breathed, dark eyes holding tightly on his. He looked shocked momentarily, then smiled slightly.

"No," he denied her request gently, "not yet, anyway. These types of tests are very sensitive, Jane. Extremely confidential. Trust has to work both ways, you see, and it must be built."

She nodded with a frown, disappointed though she understood his reasoning. She had once again forgotten that they'd spent ten years out of one another's lives and only reentered that scene days before.

"I understand," she mumbled. She looked down at her hands and sighed; what had she gotten herself into?

Obviously emboldened by her curiosity and favorable response, he crooked a finger beneath her chin and tilted it upwards to level their gazes.

"You need to understand two things about my work," he spoke in a velvet tone, "the first is that it is extremely important to me. I will not stand for anyone or anything distracting me from it. Is that clear?"

After a quiet beat, she nodded in understanding.

"Good. The second thing - and this is paramount, so please listen very closely - is that it must remain a secret," his eyes were hard and serious as he imparted the gravity of that fact to her. "It would have consequences for everyone involved, everyone who even knew of my work, if it were to be exposed before its time."

She could have been imagining it, but something in Jonathan's voice sounded threatening as he explained his second and final caveat. She swallowed thickly before nodding.

"One last thing, unrelated to my work, that you need to know - you are important to me. Were you not, it is very unlikely that we would even be having this conversation," he added, running his thumb across her lower lip.

And just like that, as though falling for the story he spun was the easiest thing in the world left to do, she gave in.

If believing Jonathan to be good meant believing he was merely helping in a way others would not understand, then that was precisely what Jane would attempt to convince herself of.

"Okay," she finally said.

"I apologize for nitpicking, Jane, but could you be a touch more specific?" he prompted, lifting a brow in response to get vague agreement.

"Okay, as in, okay, I'll try to deal with this," she kept her explanation brief. Anything more and she may well have talked herself out of the mess she was agreeing to get into.

" - but I have some conditions of my own."

She shook free of the grasp he had on her face softly, bolstering her strength for her own turn to speak.

"I don't want to know about it. Not right now. I don't want to know about ... him, or about your work," she laid out her terms, not knowing how strict or unfair they truly were to Jonathan.

"I just want to get to know you, again. Without any of this getting in the way," she added gently, her eyes sincere.

He have her a thoughtful look as he allowed her words to sink in. She was very mindful of her own expressions, attempting to convey an image of confidence and certainty in her convictions.

"I can do my best to abide by that," he answered simply enough.

In that moment, they had an arrangement of sorts.

Neither of them was fully aware that it was an arrangement they were both perfectly incapable of keeping up, but it didn't matter just then; for the moment, they both needed something to cling to.

Hey guys! Sorry about the delay. I'm sort of stuck in place, trying to figure out where this goes next. I'm not 100% satisfied with this chapter, but it is what it is. Hope you enjoy!