The Perfect Mistake

Chapter 11

           You would think that after thirteen missed calls, Zack would get the hint that I’m not interested in talking to him. And that thirteen is just from today.

           They released Zack that night, because there was no proof of what actually happened, and I was the only witness. He’d been calling me nonstop since he left the police station a few hours after me. I haven’t answered. At all.

           I don’t even know what to say to him. I’ve done nothing but wake up, go to school, go home, and then sleep. I’m still completely stunned.

           My boyfriend lied to the cops. I lied to the cops. Why did I even do that? In that moment, it felt like the right thing to do. Now, I just feel so stupid. I can’t believe I let him convince me to lie.

           There’s a bruise around my wrist and a dark one across my cheek. I’ve been covering both.

           I should go back and tell the cops what really happened, but there’s no telling how Zack would react. I don’t want him to do something stupid.

           And then there’s Derrick, who has, once again, changed his personality. Instead of just being rude and simply ignoring me, he’s started something even worse. Now, every time I see him, he looks at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen.

           I’m not even sure if his eyes are upset, or if it’s disappointment. Either way, it stings. Bad. I hate seeing him like this. Even if he’s walking in the hallways and laughing, the second he sees me his mood changes.

           And I hate myself for causing that in him. I can’t even bring myself to talk to him. I don’t want to know his reaction. He has every right to hate me right now after everything I’ve put him through.

           But instead, he looks at me like I’m a lost cause that’ll never get better. Which is so much worse than him hating me.

           This is about the third time I’ve had this conversation with myself today. It’s Friday, and I’m in my study hall class in the library. Zack and I had made plans to hang out tonight. I’m pretty sure that’s not happening anymore, though.

           I groaned loudly and leaned backwards in my chair, receiving annoyed stairs from the students actually doing work.

           I heard something drop loudly from behind me and I turned to where all of the bookshelves were. I got a glimpse of Derrick’s face as he bent down to pick up the huge pile of books he had dropped.

           He caught eyes with me, the same look appearing on his face. My gut wrenched and I had to look down, not being able to handle it.

And that’s when I decided I had to end this. I had to figure out what that look was for, because I sure as hell couldn’t stand it much longer.

           I’m hoping if I talk to him about it, maybe we won’t have to be like this anymore. I stood up from my chair and approached where he was standing.

           As soon as I reached him, he turned his back on me, walking towards the bookshelves in the back of the library.

           I stared at him, open-mouthed. Okay. What did I do that was so bad he couldn’t even face me? I tried to talk it out with him and he just completely turns his back. Oh, hell no. We aren’t going to start this again.

           I followed him towards the back corner, where he stopped again to toss the books he was carrying on a table.

           “Derrick, what the hell is your problem?” I said, probably a little louder than I should have.