THE FUNDAMENTALS OF A REALIST

A Friend

Friend - a person who is attached to another by personal regard

Who give assistance
Who is not hostile
Who is on good terms

I don't understand

Somehow in all of this shit I have enlisted I don't see you in it

Currently questioning the people I call my friends now
You consider yourself such a individual ?
You can, how? 

And induce pain-staking subliminal problematic systematic gestures
The textures of the skin are not tough enough to
sustain the fake smiles and conversations you captured
Everything was all peace and rapture
Until it fractured

Yet a friend in you I found
What goes up eventually comes down

The only boy who could ever build me up and destroy me with the same tools
Was the coward and fool
That you introduced me to during school

"Essie just text him "
I should have did what I usually do to boys
And put a hex on him
But I didn't really vex on him

Because you were my friend
And I believed  that since the companionship began

How could you not seek the best
Unless
You have other intentions you didn't want to confess

You knew all along
How small talk escalated on the phone
From I'm just chilling at home
To I never ever been with someone who could make me feel so alone

My eyes never really opened any wider
Until that day when I stood beside her
and protected her from consequences of free will
That decree was killed by the echo of a lecture that I can still feel

I just wanted a party
You just wanted some fun
There wasn't any fun hardly
Because from then I knew the web of our friendship might come undone

You're words were
"Don't let me get you in trouble
I do anything for a good laugh"
That bluntly had a good stab at my feelings
Because while I was being punished for one night
You were making plenty more like everything was alright

Friends don't do that
Back then I wish I would have knew that

My whole family didn't like you

Despite what anyone else thought I was always the type to see the good
And the good in my eyes degraded

Im looking forward to those  "Oh Essie happy belated"
I was a balloon full of life that deflated
I went a whole month without a cell phone
No one related
I waited....
//e.b.

*the outcome of bitter, cynical ranting when the mind thinks too much *